— Special “Hypeless in Cincinnati ” E-dition —

Saturday, April 12, 2008

More Depraved DemoCRATS

The entire staff at our Westside Bureau wonders why the Fishwrap won’t print a story about the sex scandal in Ohio ’s Disingenuous DemocRAT Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann’s office? Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says every other major newspaper in Ohio has run stories. Was it PJs or sweat pants? According to the Columbus Dispatch, whatever Dann's scheduler was wearing while visiting his Dublin condo one night late last summer, it was not work clothes or even jeans. The Cleveland Pain Dealer even showed her picture, but they missed the one of her in her nighties.

The staffers know one person in Cincinnati who's happy the Dann story isn’t being reported here. Our good friend Steve "Girls Gone Wild" Driehaus would hate to have it pointed out that the Disgraceful DemocRAT Attorney General was the featured speaker at a fund-raising event for Driehaus last year. While we're sure Driehaus didn't partake in the Columbus pajama party (remember Driehaus prefers girls in bikinis exposing themselves to the camera), he should at the very least denounce Marc Dann's actions and call for his resignation. And did you hear that Scott Gehring is dropping out of his House race against Denise Driehaus? Hamilton County Recovering Republican Party Boss Alex Triantafilou (pronounced Alex) should put a call out for a Real Republican to replace him!

And when the Fishwrap finally got around to reporting that the sleazy, unprecedented, last-minute backroom deal between local DemocRATS and Republicans to allow each other’s county-wide and judicial candidates to run unopposed might be falling apart because of Kindly Old Tom Luken, Alex the Great says he’s keeping his fingers crossed.

While The Blower would never be the one to say “We told you so,” how could you ever trust those lying DemocRAT bastards not to run a candidate against your nominee after you had already not run a candidate against their nominee, especially when it’s to their advantage?

And if you thought the Super Sized Jail Tax Scam was bad, just wait till you hear the Metropolitan Sewer District of Greater Cincinnati (MSD) scheme to charge over-taxed payers two billion dollars for a sewer control plan and implementation.

Our Peaceful Anarchist O'Hood wonders how much flack The Blower took yesterday for exposing attempts by our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press to make everybody a hero, Anarchist called it a rare dose of cool, fresh sanity. Media-types get so convoluted by political correctness--Skaggie Maggie being an archetype--that they can't find their ass with both hands. Even an ordinary Joe or Josephine stupid enough to vote for a continuation of Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton-Bush knows, deep in his heart, what makes a hero (or a she-ro) and what doesn't.

Also from the Amen Corner, Cynical Sue says thanks for finally saying out loud what she’s thought for some time: The Maupin Hype has gone too far. People have used this poor young man's demise to ease their own conscience about their lack of support for the War in Iraq . Do they really think that shoving plastic cups in a chain link fence and showing up for the TV photo ops, make the yellow magnets on their SUVs any less hypocritical?

Cynical Sue also says she’s afraid the Maupins themselves have become a bit too fond of their new found celebrity status. She really hated to think that was the case, but seeing them participate in the Opening Day Parade and then enjoying the game from someone's suite on the day after Matt was pronounced dead was a little too much for her. Wasn't Matt ’s dad going to shave his hideous beard when Matt was found? Guess people wouldn't recognize him without it. Cynical says she’s sure she’s bought herself a ticket to hell for judging these people, and she expects they would trade it all to have their son back, but it doesn't change the way she see it. True heroes aren't created by the media, and simply suffering misfortune as a result of doing your job doesn't make you one.

Our Clermont Crusader says The Blower should make a list of all those public officials working their names into the Maupin Mania story. Union Township Police Lt. Scott Gaviglia is guessing the chances of President Bush’s flying in for the dignified, private funeral services at

Great American Ball Park later this month at anywhere between 5 and 90 percent (yesterday it was only 10%), and MILF-ord Police Chief Mark Machan said his department has agreed to help if requested. Everybody’s counting on Rob “Fighting Furiously for Failed Legacies” Portman to upstage his protégé Mean Jean and convince his old boss to attend. One would expect nothing less from McCain’s running mate.

Whistleblower Senior National Political Analyst Britt Humus says the "liberal megadonor" George Soros is at it again. He and his group of billionaire left-wing DemocRATS have pledged $40 million dollars of soft money for national television ad campaigns to smear John McCain.

Warbler Elton John helped Hillary Clinton in New York Wednesday night at a 2.5 million dollar fund-raiser. That’s just what we need: a Brit homosexual interfering in our electoral process. Hillary Clinton finance chairman Hassan Nemazee with a Muslim-sounding name confirmed John's appearance. We thought it was supposed to be illegal to accept contributions from foreigners by presidential campaigns, except for Buddhist monks in San Francisco .

WGRR’s Chris O’Brien says if during this election year you’d like to make some changes, why not start by “Changing Hillary.”

Meanwhile, WLW’s Midday Mike MacConnell says if someone is driving slow and causing a back up on the highway, they invariably have an Icky Vicky Wulsin sticker on their car.

James “The Rock” Bogen says he’s really surprised he wasn’t chosen to represent that pervert who was arrested Wednesday for teaching juveniles how to watch porn, drink alcohol, smoke pot, and masturbate. The guy’s name is David Schmidt, and with only 206 more days till the November Election, we’re really surprised he’s not That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt’s relative.

The Blower’s Astute but Slightly Eccentric Political Commentator Godfrey Tweed, taking a long pull on his unadulterated Captain Black pipe tobacco, is amused that the Kneepad Liberals in the Press, having anointed Barrack Hussein Obama as their savior, have taken out their long knives against their former idol, Hillary Clinton. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Where have these professional propagandists and cover-up artists been since 1974, when Hillary was fired from the House Judiciary Staff for unethical behavior during the Watergate hearings— Oh, did the press forget to mention that little fact too?

The Blue Ash RINO Club (average age - 105) held its monthly meeting earlier this week. Members lost track of how long they were there once the meeting headed into its third hour. This meeting’s featured speaker was a gardener. It went on so long that two members actually passed away before the meeting finally adjourned.

We've told you about the plans of ten area high schools here to celebrate Happy Homo Day on April 25. Reedsburg , Wisconsin school district had plans for students to dress up in transgender clothing as a "fun thing" as one of its administrators put it. A talking head on CNN said she didn't see anything wrong with the plan. However, enraged parents and residents put a stop to the "happy" plan. Maybe Reedsburg Wisconsin and the ten schools here should concentrate on education instead of all that gay crap.

Now here's a story which closely parallels one which took place in Cincinnati . An alert police officer discovered Daniel Markofski, 47, a new school principal in Spring Grove , Illinois in the early morning hours this past Tuesday at a Super 8 motel in Glendale , Wisconsin with partially clothed teenage girls. He had given the girls marijuana, cognac and was playing a porn movie in the motel room. This principal, who has a teacher wife, had moved around in numerous school districts in Wisconsin , then on to Illinois . Quite like the John Robert Carlisle Cincinnati SPCA case here. One difference is, Markofski's school district will immediately fire his fat ass; whereas, Mrs. Buckwheat, the blundering Failed Cincinnati Public Schools superintendent, just kept on paying John Robert Carlisle month after month to sit at home on his fat ass watching TV, never making a move to fire him.

Reds’ rookie Johnny Cueto is doing so well that his “stuff” is becoming legendary. According to Whistleblower Baseball Historian Clueless Joe Jackson, fans across the heartland are already repeating tall tales like these:

Q: Where does Johnny Cueto pitch in the starting rotation? A: Anywhere he wants to.

Q: How did Johnny Cueto compare with Paul Bunyan?

A: He didn’t need to drag an axe to form the Grand Canyon – he just threw a fastball in the dirt.

And Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall wonders who the hell told Bronson Arroyo he could sing? The coked-up deadbeats at 94.1 FM? Coyotes baying at the moon can carry a tune better than this guy. He should definitely keep his day job....but come to think of it, he's not too good at that either.

Bluegrass Bragging Rights

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everybody is still celebrating the fact that Tax Freedom Day already arrived in Northern Kentucky on Tuesday. Today it’s Tax Freedom Day in New Mexico , as well as in North and South Dakota . But over-taxed payers on the North Shore in Ohio will still be forking over every dollar they make this year until April 17.

Congressman Goof Doofus says this is the last weekend before Tax Day and each of his H&R Doofus offices will around the clock to help his constituents do their income taxes before Tax Day on April 15.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose “The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”

The chamber types were there sucking up to King "Rex Repugnant" David Williams at Jack Deadwood's fund-raiser last night, but nobody else was. Everybody else is pissed as hell because King David and little Jack are pushing tolls upon the serfs of Northern Kentucky . Poor Jack, he could end up on the bread line real soon.

Moises, Alfredo, Julio and Jose tell us President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics. He stated: "Casi cada uno que puede funcionar, saltar, o la nadada ha salido ya del pams."Translation: "Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."

Each week when the cyber edition of “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” comes out, The Blower staff loves looking at the pictures of all those defendants our good buddy E. Rob Sanders is sending to the slammer. This week the picture of Timothy Schmidt caught our eye, after he failed to appear on $5,000 bond for tampering with evidence. But what the Robster’s usually complete report forgot to mention was how Timothy is related to Mean Jean.

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1861, the Civil War began the bloodiest four years in American history when Confederate shore batteries under General P.G.T. Beauregard open fire on Union-held Fort Sumter in South Carolina 's Charleston Bay .

Florence Y'all over taxed citizens are wondering why the city pays thousands of dollars to plant trees in the right of way only to have the KY DOT tear them up building much needed road improvements. A growing number of citizens are very irritated at the cost, especially considering the Finance Director has stated the city is going bankrupt. At least one new member will be taking office next year, lets hope he is not sitting on his brain like the current Clown-cil.

Our Bluegrass Primary Countdown Calendar says there are only 38 more days till the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20. What kind of changes do you think we would see from our politicians if people voted on April 15?

Finally, Flashlight Theatre producer Mike Sadouskas forgot to send us the promo for tonight’s program airing at midnight on Channel 22. Do you think they’ll be showing “All Women are Bad” one more time? One thing’s for sure, tonight’s broadcast will surely include Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and the guys doing their award-winning Flashlight Theatre Music Video.