But first, as Rabbi Kosherwitz always says, let me tell you a little story. Would you like to know how God came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments?

God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they asked. "Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied God. The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends.

"So then God went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "What's a commandment?" "Well," said God, "It's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."

So finally God went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How much?" God said, "They're free." And the Jews said, “Great! We'll take TEN!”

~~ Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose British wag William Norman Ewer’s immortal couplet “How odd of God to chose the Jews,”

~~ There was an earthquake in Southern Illinois early Friday morning, and all day TV News crews hereabouts were looking for people who wanted to tell their stories on TV. Our good friend Bobby Leach says a lot of other guys he knows also hope their wives didn’t watch TV yesterday, so they can take credit for making the earth move, if you know what we mean.

~~ Hurley the Historian says a lot of blood was shed on this date in American history. In 1775, there was the shot heard ‘round the world when the American Revolution officially began during the Battle at Lexington Green; in 1861, we had the first bloodshed during the Civil War; in 1993, Clinton’s Attorney General Janet Reno blew up David Koresh and his followers at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco; and n 1995, Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Now which event do you think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are most likely to mention?

~~ In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says when word came that one of the women who says she was sexually harassed by her supervisor at Depraved DemocRAT Attorney General Marc Dann’s office finally filed a criminal complaint against the supervisor, Manders is wondering if the Ohio DemocRATS are now giving any thought that maybe they should have backed Marc Dann's opponent Subodh Chandra, from Cleveland, instead of allowing Dann to steamroll Chandra out of consideration for the DemocRATic 2006 nomination for Ohio Attorney General? Maybe the Dems could have avoided the mess Dann is in and will continue to be in. Whistleblower readers may remember Chandra as one of the men Icky Vicky Wulsin (Millionaire-Indian Hill) propositioned when he was in town.

~~ Maupin Madness continues in Southwest Ohio, and over at the Fishwrap, with only 231 more days till the November Elections, did Feckless Fishwrapper Maya Ruin leave That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt’s name out of Friday’s Fallen Hero installment? That’s the last time Mean Jean will fly you in for her daughter’s wedding, Maya. And where was our Hawaiian Hatchet Woman’s latest update on Maupin County police officials’ guesses of Rob “Fighting Furiously for Failed Legacies” Portman’s chances of getting President Bush to fly in to deliver the eulogy at those dignified, private funeral services at Great American Ball Park at anywhere between 5 and 90 percent (yesterday it was up to 11%).

~~ Now here’s a note to the lady in Walnut Hills, whose Lexus was car-jacked by yoofs who raced thru Bond Hill at 100 mph—call the movers ASAP.

~~ Besides the over-taxed payers having to pay $1.2 million in court-ordered penalties for the mismanagement of the Metropolitan Sewer District of Greater Cincinnati (MSD), we must also now pay $2 billion dollars for agreed improvements to the lousy system. This is in addition to "asset management" costing $51 million dollars per year. Why did the Hamilton County Commissioners ever agree to become a part of MSD in the first place and continue to do so? Maybe Devious DemocRATS Odd Todd Opportune and David A. Pepper can explain it. Because one thing we know for sure is that none of the highly-paid administrators at MSD communicates with the public.

~~ Roger Loring Ramsey, 57, a former Milford teacher and registered sex offender, was indicted on Wednesday of charges he stalked and raped a nurse. In 1997, Ramsey, who resided in the West Clermont school district, was sentenced to eight years in prison for the sexual battery of a student. He was on loan to Milford from the Great Oaks Vocational district, where he had been a teacher since 1985. And prior to that Ramsey had also been convicted of gross sexual imposition of a student in 1984 when he taught in Cleveland Heights , Ohio . Don't these idiot school districts do any background checks? Why even bother to pretend they have a Human Resources department, since they don't do anything? That couch at John Robert Carlisle's house in Springboro is getting mighty crowded. Parents, protect your children!

~~ Finally, one of the applicants to the Whistleblower Summer Intern Program figured out that fewer local high schools now seem to be taking part in this year’s Happy Homo High School Day on April 25 sponsored by McDonald’s. Now it looks like only Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming will be promoting the homosexual agenda. Don’t the other schools realize homosexuality is a worthy lifestyle; that it has few or no risks; that some people are "born" homosexual, including students who never would have thought of such gross activities without teachers to tell them it was OK; and that those who oppose this behavior are hateful and uninformed?

~~ And when Congressman Goof Doofus called Obama a “boy” earlier this week, at least he didn’t call him a “goy.”

~~ At least every year at their Christmas party, the guys at Graydon Head & Richey have been making Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky since 2003.

~~ It was reported Thursday that Senator John McCain will be coming to Inez , Kentucky (where ever the hell that is). A Boone County Republican wonders why the three NoKY GOP Judge Executives wouldn’t bring him here to campaign like they did Steve Beshear.

~~ Patsy Crowley reported in his blog on Thursday that John Schickel, a Boone County Republican opposing Charlie Walton for the 11th District Senate seat, has been endorsed by Ed Pridle, the Boone County Jailor, Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl at the Kenton County Escape Center, and Chuck Korzenborn ,the Kenton County Sheriff. Schickel has also been endorsed by the union thugs at four FOP Lodges and the Northern Kentucky International Airport Firefighters. The Ohio Valley Building Contractors and the Homebuilders of Northern Kentucky are also endorsing Schickel, Moses, Alfredo, Julio and Jose said the homebuilders said they better be for him too. The CamBoozler says after the predictions Crowley made during the legislative session, the folks in Vegas are picking Walton in a landslide. Schickel is asking the three Judge Executives of Northern Kentucky not to say anything after their screw up on the toll bridge fiasco.

~~ The League of Women Vipers says according to their Official Whistleblower Bluegrass Primary Election Countdown Calendar, today there only 31 more days until the primary elections. Have you ever seen a more boring race in your life?

~~ Remember Vince Bryant? We hear he’s back home in Manhattan, Kansas living with his mommy. The properties he and his restaurant group of thugs and thieves had are returning to their various former owners, and the records of his failed restaurants are stored on the second floor of a former property in which Vince lived, and which the group failed to purchase in a lease-purchase agreement. What do federal prosecutors have to say about all this? Vince must think this is all just like an incomplete pass like when he played quarterback at Kansas State .

~~ Y’All Ville Mayor Blondie Whalen says her Florence Freedom baseball team starts to play in just over a month, the team has found 16 wonderful singers to sing the National Anthem this season, along with a whole bunch of really crappy ones.