~~ It looks like Chris Bortz will get the mother of all Christmas bonuses this year from Towne Properties, thanks to his efforts to ramrod through clown-cil a $100 million trolley to no-where, aka the "Streetcar Named Disaster."

~~ Blower readers want to know why the "silver-spooned one" was even able to vote on the boondoggle plan, since Towne Properties owns real estate along the route. Can anyone say “conflict of interest?” At $20 million-per-mile, the good citizens of Cincinnati will continue to get fleeced for years to come. Subway II, here we come. Does Bortz really think 200 people an hour will ride this thing? We know all the yoofs will be climbing on board.

~~ No wonder Blue Chip Young Republicans will be hosting a Trolley Folly Forum Monday night at 7:00 PM at Monty’s ( 4108 Montgomery Road ). Leading the discussion will be Streetcar apologist John Schneider, Chairman of the Alliance for Regional Transit, and Cincinnati City Clown-cil man Chris Monzel, who we believe opposes the plan.

~~ Trolley Folly Folks are going to be out begging corporations to "build another rat hole to pour their stockholders money in" just like the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Ray roe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center. Sleazy lobbyists will also be begging the state for $10 million dollars. If “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman could only take a break from his efforts to change the name of the Miami and Union Township portions of I-275 to the "Matt Maupin Veteran's Memorial Highway," maybe he could do something about it. Over-taxed payers are fed up with that giant sucking sound coming from the Plum Street Play Pen.

~~ Edna, our wise and experienced teacher, makes the observation that Cincinnati, with its rising crime, increasing child endangerments and a fleeing population, is getting to be worse than Detroit . What a sad but true label for the city that was once known as the Queen City, now is given the distinctive name of “Worse Than Detroit .” And what are the city clown-cil and the Hamilton County Commissioners doing to make it a better place? They’re buying streetcars.

~~ No wonder Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin fired off another angry e-mail:

~~ At yesterday’s Political Insiders Lunch, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s guests were still scratching their heads after Hamilton County State Rep-tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman succumbed to Maupin madness and actually introduced a bill in the Ohio legislature to rename the Miami and Union Township portions of I-275 in Clermont County (Not even in his district) the "Matt Maupin Veteran's Memorial Highway." His most humiliating primary loss in local Republican history to That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt must’ve driven “TaxKiller” over the edge.

~~ Wednesday afternoon, after learning TV 5 had already upped the ante on media hype, Channels 9 and 12 announced they were pre-empting local broadcasts of the NBA Playoffs, CBS’ PGA coverage, and possibly the NHL playoffs so that they could also broadcast the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Maupin Funeral Services live from Grave American Ballpark. Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Stephen Wright’s “I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.” And what’s the matter with Channel 19, not being willing to pre-empt NASCAR races to take part in the news media’s hype-fest over the Maudling Maupin Memorial?

~~ Thursday morning, Queen City Metro offered free shuttle service for the historic event, and Cincinnati ’s finest sent out a media advisory covering traffic and parking information. It’s too bad all those trolleys aren’t running.

~~ TV news stations are still telling their dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed viewers that they might even get on camera if they show up with lit candles and fake, fuzzy beards to line the route between Lunken Airport and the Civic Center for Saturday’s Visitation of Fallen Hero Matt Maupin. Maupin County Commissioner Bob “Flag Tie” Proud expects more than two million people to line the route.

~~ The Maupin County Police are still guessing Rob “Fighting Furiously for Failed Legacies” Portman’s chances of getting President Bush to fly in to deliver the eulogy are anywhere between 5 and 90 percent (but yesterday it was down to 3%).

~~ And with all that media hype, have you ever wondered why you still haven’t seen a single story about how much this tasteful, dignified funeral service at Great American Ball Park is going to cost, and who’s footing the bill?

~~ Meanwhile, over at the Fishwrap, Metro Mole says, “Thanks to The Blower for being the only voice of sanity in this entire Maupin fiasco. It's an affront to every other family that has lost its loved one. How about doing something for all those other Fallen Heroes out there?”

~~ Today is Happy Homo High School Day, and students at Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming are busy promoting the homosexual agenda. Don’t the other schools realize homosexuality is a worthy lifestyle; that it has few or no risks; that some people are "born" homosexual, including students who never would have thought of such gross activities without teachers to tell them it was OK; and that those who oppose this behavior are hateful and uninformed?

~~ In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says, according to the Dispatch, Depraved DemocRAT Attorney General Marc Dann’s top aide Anthony Gutierrez (currently suspended during the current Pajama-gate 2008 investigation) also failed to fill out an accident report after he crashed the state-owned SUV he was driving on the way to a pajama party last October.

~~ In Washington , our DC Newsbreaker says Barack Obama’s longtime racist minister Jeremiah Wright will appear on PBS today and speak to the National press Club on Monday.

~~ Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says, according to Lucianne.com, if Obama is denied we're warned of rioting in the streets. If Hillary is sent packing, no one talks about the furious post-menopausal women shrieking through Denver with Tupperware bombs. Not only that, Matt Drudge says, Jenna Bush may not support McCain.

~~ Hurley the Historian says on this date in1997 Seattle Mariner Ken Griffey Jr. hit his 250th homerun, and although Seattle won the Western Division, Junior’s bat wasn’t good enough to get his team to the World Series that year.

~~ Commenting on yesterday’s Blower Blast ("Section 8 is like the Ebonic Plague), one Conservative Critic says, “Perhaps you saw the news last evening or the newspaper article Thursday morning. The man who was severely beaten by two fourteen year old boys died yesterday after spending over three weeks in a coma. The two boys will now be charged with murder. As you are aware, the one boy lives in a Section 8 subsidized house at 1225 Bates Avenue in Mt. Washington .”

~~ Our old City Hall Snitch says she recently came across a picture/article dated April 16 – it showed an aerial picture of the flower carpet on Fountain Square . She saw it in person, and actually, the only way it can be fully “appreciated” IS from an aerial view. The article states it was designed by Jan Brown Checco, whose design was picked from “dozens of entries.” ( Please note that “Brown Checco Fine Arts” is listed as one of the ”hosts” for the butterfly show at the conservatory on their propaganda brochure.) Was this design REALLY picked from “dozens of entries”….or was it picked because her husband is one of the Cincinnati Park Superintendents?

~~ The city proposed a two-tier program for people who call 911. Jeff Balding says with 11 ambulances, there may be a wait if you need to go to the hospital. First tier is an ambulance that takes "really" sick people to the hospital. The Second Tier is a police summons for calling 911 with a runny noise or a fake illness just to visit yo mama having her next kid in the hospital! PUT US ON THE TASK FORCE that has until Dec 31 for a deadline for suggestions. Bus passes for real runny noses and chop the hands off of the caller who make the bogus calls! They would do that in Iran . Isn’t it about time over-taxed payers stopped taking this crap from city residents who use the ambulances as a free taxi service?

~~ When Dinsmore & Shohl sent out a press release with the old news that Alex Triantafilou (pronounced Alex) was now associated with their fine firm, the new Hamilton County Republican Party Boss’ name was listed as Alex M. Triantafilou. What does the “M” stand for— Milhous?

~~ Finally, don’t forget— today is the deadline for the Whistleblower Summer Interns Program, where applicants must also submit a 1,000-word-or-less essay on “Why it’s OK to Make Fun of Politicians.” Unemployed members of the Greater Cincinnati Society of Unprofessional Journalists need not apply.

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says with only 25 more days till the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20, the Obama campaign has finally, arrived in Northern Kentucky. His campaign headquarters has settled in the recently defunct Pike Street Press building. It was an expensive bagel shop that didn’t last a year. May the new occupants experience the same fate!

~~ Word is the Obama mission is headed up by two local headless types. ChuckE is reportedly the youngest person ever to receive an MBA from Harvard. How can this trust-fund kid, who claims to be a realtor, back a Muslim socialist? His entire 60 years of luxury on this earth has been the result of the success of his family's chain of men's clothing stores--capitalism at its best. Secondly, WellingtonL is the son of a surgeon and socialite politician who could never get elected herself. Again, we have another trust-fund kid who has never worked a day in his life. These pointed head liberal seem to be drawn to Obama.

~~ The future of the storied Delta Queen steamboat appeared in peril Tuesday after a key House committee rejected a vote on legislation to renew a fire-safety exemption for the vessel. Goof Doofus says maybe Obama can sing us a couple of choruses of “ Old Man River .”

This week, everybody who thinks Goof Doofus’ approval ratings in Kentucky surged when he used the dreaded “B-word” in a reference about dark-skinned Disingenuous DemocRAT Barrack Hussein Obama during a recent speech in Boone County, e-mailed his entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted racial healer Rudy Redneck who says the biggest mistake Goof Doofus made was when he apologized. Rudy wins a commendation from Bill “The Ethnic Cleanser” Seitz, his choice of arm bands from the Marge Schott Collection, and a commemorative lawn jockey, just like the one Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane gave his good friend Bobby Leach as a housewarming present. His winning limerick is:

When you call a black politician a ‘boy’

It’s a word that will really annoy

Except if you’re Jewish

And you want to be shrewish

You can call him a schvartze or goy.

When you call a black politician a ‘boy’

The First Amendment you must not destroy.

You must apologize quickly

And then grovel and act sickly

Before orchestrated outrage they employ.

When you call a black politician a 'boy,'

The race-baiter crowd will descend and deploy.

So to save your career

You'll have to appear, and say

'I didn't mean the Senator from Illinois !'

When you call a black politician a boy

Don’t try to escape by acting coy

Just tell the truth

And when you’re in the voting booth

Whip his butt like a Flynt "Hustler" toy.