~~ Maupin Mania is running amok in the tri-state this morning, and the entire Whistleblower staff and management have been out all night making sure they could get good places to welcome Matt Maupin back home. TV news stations have been telling their dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed viewers that they might even get to wave on camera if they show up with lit candles and fake, fuzzy beards to line the route between Lunken Airport and the Chuck Kubicki/ Ken Geis Union Township Civic Center for Saturday’s Visitation of Fallen Hero Matt Maupin. Maupin County Commissioner Bob “Flag Tie” Proud announced more than two and a half million people will line the route. Let’s hope none of those fake fuzzy beards catch fire.. You will recognize Proud among funeral attendees, as he will be wearing the glaringly patriotic and ridiculous looking tie that will remind people why many still call people from Clermont County “trailer park trash” and “hillbillies.”

~~ Maupin Maniacs have adorned overpasses leading into Clermont County with banners reading, "Welcome Home Matt." Artimis Boards are being programmed to remind travelers of the planned funeral event. ODOT has placed flashing signs along I-275 near the Route 32 interchange to direct cars around the two-day event since the Route 32 exit ramps will be closed tomorrow for the record crowds expected.

~~ Speaking of offensive, “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman appears to be in exile since it was revealed he had joined the Jean Schmidt/ Maupin media circus supporters, and sponsored a bill to rename a portion of I-275 the Matt Maupin Memorial Expressway. Perhaps Mean Jean is not allowing the TaxKiller to speak publicly about the bill until after she soaks up all the free media the funeral event will attract. Did one countywide elected official who was not Portly Prosecutor Don White really tell associates he planned to stay home Sunday and avoid the funeral because he could just tell everyone he was there and nobody would know the difference? Perhaps he can claim he was hiding behind one of those fake Keith Maupin replica beards expected to be sold by opportunistic vendors downtown at the funeral.

~~ As for elected officials planning to attend, with only 192 more days till the November Elections, there is no question That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt will be trying to be the center of attention at the funeral followed by Rob Portman , who will want to remind people that he wants to run for any office that becomes available. Other than Mean Jean, the Maupins have had to scrape the bottom of the barrel and settle for the likes of Gayvenor Ted Strickland and Senator Sherrod Brown -- both struggling to convince people in Cincinnati they care about veterans even though they oppose any funding for our soldiers.

~~ Apparently the famed lease agreement between Hamilton County and the Bungals for PBS had more small print contained in it that only former Hamilton County Commissioner Bob Bungalhaus must have known about prohibiting the facility from being used for overflow crowds from a funeral without payment being made to the Bungals. Given this fact, organizers are directing mourners to stand in the pansy patch on Fountain Square where the service will be shown on the jumbo video screen. Perhaps this is where radical protestors from the Reverend Fred Phelps organization will be placed if they follow up on their threats to show up at the event.

~~ And why shouldn’t the protesters show up? Hurley the Historian says even though June 20 is real war hero Audie Murphy’s birthday, Friday morning TV 5 predicted Maupin Mania would produce the largest crowd ever assembled in the History of the World— parts One AND Two.

~~ And speaking of tasteful, how about that Fishwrap ad for Webb-Noonan’s Veterans Funeral Care right under the big front-page Maupin Mania story on Monday?

~~ A noted local media analyst says Channels 5, 9, and 12 are engaging in overkill. You can’t even get all the TV networks to broadcast the President’s State of the Union Address. It says a lot about the value of the programming they have pre-empted. It is a real shame the Maupins are going to be disappointed about the lack of interest outside Anderson-Union-Batavia area. Filling the Support Center is one thing, filling GABP is quite another. I feel bad they are going to end up wishing they booked the Glen Este gym.

~~ Our old friend Shad O’Shea says he’s glad The Blower has the balls to expose Maupin Madness for what it is. Blatant disregard for the OTHER 4,051 brave heroes who lie buried without so much as a word in their honor! It has turned into an embarrassment and a tacky way to continue the “LEGEND” of the Maupin Family! Methinks the Maupins are indeed basking in the limelight! Shame on the media whores for continuing their feeding frenzy!

~~ No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose “If you saw a man drowning and you could either save him or photograph the event... what kind of film would you use?”

~~ In Friday’s Whistleblower Web Poll asked here's who the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said was most responsible for the current epidemic of Maupin Madness:

(A) Yellow Ribbon Manufacturers: 2%

(B) The Maupin Family: 1%

(C) Shameless Politicians: 1%

(D) Kneepad Liberals in the Press who just can’t stop hyping: 96%

~~ Our Clermont Criticizer says Maupin Madness is just another a Union Township circus.

~~ Our Angry Anderson says “Who really thinks Matt Maupin's dad will shave his scruffy beard when Matt comes home? The Maupins 15-minutes of fame has already lasted four years.”

~~ Blower readers are wondering where award-winning illustrator Artis Conception is when we really need him. We’d like to see fake, fuzzy beards on everybody.

~~ Archbishop Pilarczyk says Thank god the Maupin funeral is scheduled for 1 PM on Sunday. At least now it won’t keep everybody from going to church.

~~ Peaceful Anarchist O'Hood Dave Gallaher says, “We haven't even finished with Maupin Madness before we go lurching into Trolley Folly. The news around here often writes itself as a comedy sketch, doesn't it? Keep it up!”

~~ John “No Left Turns in Goshen ” Joseph says, “Know what I'm more interested in than the ratings-chasing, self-serving, shameless media whores who prostitute themselves promoting Maupin Mania? What's happening to the two cowardly insurgent pigs who captured Matt and are allegedly in custody? Any form of death is too good for those chicken-shit buckets of slime, but it should be long, drawn out, and excruciatingly painful. It's legal in Iraq (protesters would be shot). Now there's something the media should cover. Film at eleven.”

~~ Meanwhile, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders when somebody in the local news media will figure out that other servicemen and women are fighting and dying in our War on Terror.

~~ And with all that media hype, have you ever wondered why you still haven’t seen a single story about how much this tasteful, dignified funeral service at Grave American Ball Park is going to cost, and who’s footing the bill? It’s just like what the Blower always says— over at the Fishwrap, Skaggie Maggie’s minions are either too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to report the truth. And the rest of the mendacious media are no better.