— Special “Media Mendacity” E-dition­­ —

 

Monday, April 28, 2008

Exploiting Our Heroes

            The War in Iraq continues, but every day

the Grief Merchants among the more mendacious members of the news media continue to attempt to exploit all that public guilt with orchestrated events like Maupin Mania, so they can increase their profits by showing pictures of yellow ribbons and flag-draped coffins to their dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct  audiences.

 

          Sunday’s Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Maupin Funeral Circus at Grave American Ball Park in Cincinnati was only the latest disgraceful example.

 

            That’s why we asked some of our American Fighting Men and Women what they hated most about the War on Terror, and they told us it was hearing about all the hype back home.

 

            But all this hype is nothing new, since Hurley the Historian says it’s as American as apple pie.

 

            Actually, it’s right there in the Declaration of Independence . Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Hype.”

 

            And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and Hype for all.”

 

            Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me Hype or give me a death?”

 

            Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one life to give to my Hype.”

 

            John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to fight for Hype.”

 

            George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. I really like Hype.”

 

            Samuel Adams said, “Some day they’ll name a beer after me, but in the meantime, just give me more Hype.”

 

            Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and a whole lot of Hype.”

 

            At Gettysburg , Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget the Hype.”

 

            William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell-- without Hype.”

 

            George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those Hypin’ Indians come from?”

 

            Woodrow Wilson said, “Sometimes people call me an idealist. That’s why I like Hype.”

 

            Will Rogers said, “I never met a Hype I didn’t like.”

 

            General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his Hype. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his Hype.”

 

            FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but Hype.”

 

            Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return-- for Hype.”

 

            Harry Truman said, “The Hype stops here.”

 

            Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “Only our individual faith in Hype can keep us free”

 

            Albert Einstein said, “So long as there is Hype there will be wars.”

 

            Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about Hype.”

 

            John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your Hype.”

 

            Neil Armstrong said, “One small step for man, one giant step for Hype.”

 

            Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of Hype is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of Hype is no virtue.”

 

            Vince Lombardi said, “Winning isn’t everything. Hype is.”

 

            Ronald Reagan said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this Hype.”

 

            John Wayne said, “Sure I love my country with all her faults-- just like Hype.”

 

            Rev. Martin Luther King said,” had a dream-- of Hype.”

 

            Bill Clinton said, “I tried Hype once, but I didn’t inhale,” and “I did not have sex with that Hype.”

 

            Charlton Heston said, “You’ll have to pry this Hype from my cold, dead hand.”

 

            At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless the Hype.”

 

            And not to be outdone, George W. Bush said, “Hype accomplished!”

 

MAUPIN MANIA

MEDIA HYPE HOT LINE

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Patriotic Link of the Day

Honoring Our Heroes

 

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