~~ In Tuesday’s “Real E-mails from Real Subscribers” E-dition, Clermont County Veterans asked Which local politician gets the prize for most shamelessly exploiting the memory of Fallen Hero Matt Maupin.

~~ Well, with only 216 more days till the November Elections, our Clermont Crusader says That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt was standing right next to the Maupins at the candlelight vigil and folks hereabouts expect Mean Jean and Rob “Furiously Fighting for Failed Legacies” Portman to be trying to outdo each other to see who gets credit for caring the most. The irony being that the winner could be neither. Clermont County Commissioner Bob "Flag Tie" Proud would get that award hands down. He can't even pray at dinner without mentioning Matt Maupin.

~~ Our Quote for Today Committee chose this passage from Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, sent in by Hamilton County GOP Political Director Patrick Maloney: “ [T]hat from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

~~ It’s a pity our pandering politicians are so utterly shameless.

~~ And wouldn't it be funny if TV 12’s Jeff Hirsch at Channel 12 was working on a super secret story about insider dealings and Clermont County politics?

~~ Speaking of shame, Conservative Columnist Mark Miller wonders if we think Cincinnati ’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mallory feels any more humiliated this morning after being seriously out-pitched by a crippled guy. John “No Left Turns in Goshen” wonders the same thing after Crippled Commissioner Odd Todd Opportune wheeled his broken body out to the pitcher’s mound for Monday's Opening Day first pitch and threw a perfect strike, when last year, the limp-wristed mayor couldn't get the ball anywhere near home plate?!

~~ Bill Padder says after he spotted Greedy Hearse-chasing Trial Lawyer $tan Che$ley wallowing in the $175/ticket Diamond Seats right behind home late during Opening Day, he wondered which client was getting billed for $tan’s time.

~~ Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1513, Ponce de Leon discovered Florida, and in spite of that Señor Bob Castellini says there’s still a chance the Reds will be playing their Spring Training games in Arizona.

~~ And for today’s Aflac Trivia Question, in the Opening Day Parade, how can you tell the difference between a legitimately elected Republican and a hand-picked successor? The legitimately elected Republican (Steve Chabothead) smiles and waves at onlookers and even comes over to shake a hand or two. The hand-picked successor (TLPMOT&SRB Mean Jean) doesn't smile or wave at anyone, just looks and marches straight ahead, feigns excessive dignity, and apparently thinks only about whether that idiotic bun of hers will come apart in the rain, except when she’s passing out badges with Matt Maupin’s picture on it to poor Black folks with their hands out, as shown in this photo we filched from the Fishwrap.

~~ Speaking of our McCainiac, Monday he said, “No government is capable of caring for children as attentively and wisely as the mother and father who love them. But government must be attentive to the impact of its policies on families so that it does not through inattention or arrogance make it harder for parents to have the resources to succeed in the greatest work of their lives -- raising their children.” That’s a little different take than you’d get from Hillary, when she said “It Takes a Village,” like the streets of Over-the-Rhine,, Avondale, Roselawn, Price Hill, Mt. Washington, and other dysfunctional neighborhood villages, to raise your “chilluns.”

~~ In Columbus , Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Gayvenor Strickland wants to make it easier to get a college education! But the easiest way to get an edumacation is to get arrested! Thanks to the over-taxed payers of Ohio , you can get a FREE college degree in the pen. This is one of the many reasons the State of Ohio spends a zillion dollars on the penal system!

~~ Responding today to a Columbus Dispatch analysis showing that overtime pay in state government skyrocketed last year, the Gayvenor said he's concerned about the amount paid and wants to find ways to reduce it. The newspaper reported Sunday that in the first year of Strickland's administration overtime shot up 16 percent and the total state payroll rose $116 million, even though there were fewer employees than in 2006.

~~ And we understand Ohio’s Disingenuous DemocRAT Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann will be providing opening remarks for the Anthem Foundation of Ohio’s forum is to share research findings from the recently published “White Paper on Improving Family Violence in Ohio.” What are they sharing? Better ways to beat your wife?

~~ One of our snitches at Cincinnati City Hall says according to the Cato Institute, streetcars don't bring economic development. "It's a lie," said Randal O'Toole, a senior fellow at the Cato Institute, a libertarian policy-research group based in Washington . O'Toole describes streetcars as "a really expensive Disney ride" and contends they get credit for economic development that's really spurred by government incentives and subsidies.

~~ And how long will it take for the bleeding hearts on City Clown-cil to complain that the police discriminated against businesses in poor neighborhoods? Thirteen bars and carry-outs are slated to have their liquor licenses revoked and every one of them is are in our favorite drug dealing killing fields.

~~ Why is it the Metropolitan Sewer District, controlled by the City of Cincinnati , and partially financed by the Hamilton County Commissioners, under a 50-year agreement, has an "independent auditor" of its finances, Foxx, that doesn't even reveal its address nor phone number in the audit report? And why doesn't any individual sign his name to the audit? And wasn't it the secretive Foxx who audited the Katrina cleanup and said everything was fine? Is this a classic case of the Foxx guarding the henhouse at MSD?

~~ Staff and students have not even returned to Hughes We Be High School from spring break and the Truck Driving Principal is already blasting the staff with hate e-mails. She continues to describe how the master schedule is determined by the administration and not the teachers. Hasn't she realized yet that there IS NO administration at Hughes We Be High School? There hasn't been one for two years and she couldn’t do the master schedule at Wiffrow, so why does she think she can do it at Hughes? The truck driving principal needs to put her 18-wheeler in reverse and do herself a favor and leave the school before she is completely run out of town.

~~ Alternative Life-styles Columnists Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis still wonder why the only Hamilton County High Schools celebrating Happy Homo Day on April 25 include Anderson, Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, Loveland, Oak Hills, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming . Don’t all those other schools realize homosexuality is a worthy lifestyle; that it has few or no risks; that some people are "born" homosexual, including students; and that those who oppose this behavior are hateful and uninformed?

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce has decided to endorse Senator Barack Hussein Obama after reading that his beloved pastor had confiscated millions of dollars from poor Black people in Chicago ’s South Side and now plans to retire to a gated community and a $10 million house. The Chamber spokesman said the pastor pretty much did to the poor what they wanted to do with casinos, prostitution, and bridge tolls, and with their success we felt we may need their help.

~~ Now even Steve Stevens of the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce is changing his tune on toll bridges. Could that be the result of all of those Chamber Members taking their Chamber Plaques off the wall to try to get their business back?

~~ Ken CamBoo said he did not make it to church Sunday, but from what he has heard from friends it seems like every pastor in Northern Kentucky has offered to resign if given a double lot at Triple Crown and a $10 million line of credit. It seems like Pastor Wright understands and approves of capitalism after all.

~~ Sammy Sharecropper wonders if this now means that mule and forty acres is now a double lot in Triple Crown without trails and a $10 million line of credit. Let’s all sing “My Old Kentucky Home.”

~~ Well, it looks like Judge Defective Moore-or-Less and the Boone County Fiscally Irresponsible Court have sided with the terrorists and will be building that trail around the Airport. A Muslim Cowboy group has volunteered to ride their horses on patrol around the Airport when the weather conditions are OK. Moises, Alfredo, Julio and Jose said they were excited about the new trail that would allow them to ride their four wheelers from Marydale to their job sites in Hebron, but they were not aware they would have to put up with the smell of the manure on their four wheelers.

~~ Jon Benet Draud wrote The Blower to say once again the people of Kentucky have shown that you can be 48th in education and still know that as long as you have a Senate controlled by the Republicans and a House of Representative controlled by the “DemocRATS it doesn’t matter what the Governor is and the over-taxed payers are safe. We have once again thwarted burdensome tax increases and avoided gambling and prostitution in Northern Kentucky . Plus, we’ve enjoyed the advantage of having the big guys introduce millions of dollars into our economy and not get a damn thing for it.

~~ Finally, with only 48 more days till the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20, Lucky in Lexington says after reading all those oh-so-sincere apologies into Monday's blower, one has to feel sorry for Beloved Publisher Charles Foster Kane. If he's going to stop talking about all those people, he'll need some more news to improve upon. He should look at huge Derek Hall, an employee of Annie “Get Your Guns” Northrup, with an 0-3 campaign record. Everyone whose campaign he's ever been on has lost, most recently Stan Lee. With huge Derek Hall at the helm, Northrup's legacy is going with Portman's.