— Weekly "Below the Beltway" Issue —
Monday, April 7, 2008
Over-taxed Payers’ Lament
This weekend, millions of Americans not still on Spring Break were frantically trying to figure out how to claim more itemized deductions so they wouldn’t have to pay so much Federal Income Tax by April 15. Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?"
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “A taxpayer is someone who works for the federal government but who doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.”And if that’s not enough, someone sent us the “Tax Man’s Creed,” to help us try to put it all into perspective
:Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his jackass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done,
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me
to my doom..."
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Some other taxes include
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
And don’t forget,
you still have to "Press 1" for English.
Make sure you pay your taxes by April 15.
Millions of illegal immigrants are depending on you.
OUTRAGED OVER-TAXED PAYERS HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite tax scams today.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today's Blower
were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers,
like this new example of the government’s Paperwork Reduction Program
To be considered for an e-mail subscription to The Whistleblower Newswire, persons of consequence anywhere in the world may apply by e-mailing requests to
whistleblower@cinci.rr.com.The Special Whistleblower Insiders Edition is by invitation only.
Over-Taxed Payers’ Link of the Day
Turbo Tax: The Rap