~~ This morning saw an ad for a book promoting the idea of abolishing the IRS. Talk about your great timing! Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane just got back from Mercy HealthPlex in Anderson where a team of AARP volunteers were helping geezers like him tackle their taxes. If only the people at the kinder, gentler IRS were as helpful as those fine folks from AARP, what a wonderful world it would be. Maybe next year we could volunteer too. We’d have a great time writing down all those disingenuous deductions some people were trying to claim. That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Herman Wouk’s “Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.”

~~ Next Tuesday, on April 15, it’s “Tax Day.” Your taxes have to be paid by then. Curiously, according to the Tax Foundation, “Tax Freedom Day” (the date when our nation as a whole has theoretically earned enough income to fund its annual tax burden) arrives on April 23. The actual date you stop working for the government and start working for yourself occurs on different dates, depending on where you live. In Kentucky , it’s April 10. In Ohio , it comes a week later on April 17.

~~ And if you think local politicians are exploiting Maupin Madness, you should see how they’re all climbing on the news media’s Grief Bandwagon for our Fallen Firefighters from Colerain. Both Alex Triantafilou, Esq. ( Hamilton County GOP Party Boss) and Caleb Faux (Executive Director of the Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party) sent out e-mails telling their members how much they should care. But the booby prize goes to Cincinnati Clown-cil woman Laketa Cole who’s having a press conference to coincide with the beginning of the visitation on Tuesday. That's why The Blower will be officially calling her Y. Laketa “That Whore-Got-What-She-Deserved” Cole from now on, as a reminder of what she said when she bitch slapped in her fugitive boyfriend's old girlfriend.

~~ In Columbus , Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Boob Taft was spotted over the weekend at the Erma Bombeck Humor Writing seminar at the University of Dayton . Perhaps it's fitting. We were laughing at him for eight years. We just didn't know he was trying to be funny.

~~ Alternative Life-style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis wonder if students will be playing cornhole during the April 25 Happy Homo Day celebration at area high schools sponsored by McDonald’s. Right now they’re working on setting up brackets so gay students from schools like Anderson , Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, Loveland , Oak Hills, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming can have a big cornhole tournament.

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Northern Kentucky real estate magnate, Jim Huff will be tap dancing with all the other toll bridge lovers at his fund-raiser he’s having this week for Jack Deadwood. His guest of honor is none other than Rex Repugnant, King David Williams. GOP party bosshog, Greg Screwmate is even sending around an e-mail demanding attendance at the event.

~~ According to our Official Whistleblower Bluegrass Primary Election Countdown Calendar, today there only 41 more days until the primary elections on May 20, and The Blower can hardly wait till all those negative campaign ads start on TV.

~~ When Dan Glier was at the White House to suck up to the President on Monday, the owner of Glier’s Meats tried to explain the ingredients in “Goetta” to Dubya. After hearing all the vile-and-disgusting ingredients, the President said, “That Goetta stuff sounds a lot like the legislation that comes out of Congress. You really don’t want to know what went into it.”

~~ Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1865 Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered his 28,000 troops to Union General Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox, Virginia. So if you see flags flying at half staff in Kentucky today, that might be the reason.