Olden rituals have lost their meaning. They just aren't the same anymore, since they're rooted hundreds, sometimes thousands of years in antiquity and they're not relevant to what's happening today.

Hurley the Historian says recently, on a hill near Jerusalem, a shepherd watching his flocks by night tripped over a stone tablet. Scholars labored long and hard to decipher the ancient Aramaic writing. But now they don't want to tell us what it says.

Seems the tablet describes a barbaric pagan celebration. They fear we might actually practice it, and that would turn us into vulgar vandals.

At that time in history it became the most popular of celebrations, and more people observed it than any of the other truly holy days.

On this Unsanctified Sabbath there were no sacraments. No ceremonies. No words of worship. No prayers of any kind. No candles to be lit.

On this Day of Decadence, the mind was to ignore all care and woe. Sin was to be savored. Only the most primitive pleasures were to be enjoyed.

As translated from the Sacred Scrolls of Coz-zel, the celebration was a most hedonistic holiday. It was not spiritually uplifting, because it brought forth man's baser instincts.

In a trial by combat, where only the fiercest fighters could take part, they recalled bloody exploits of legendary heroes like Samson, Spartacus, and gladiators of ancient Rome.

The masses were accustomed to being entertained with bread and circuses, and no cost was too great to attend.

And though the contest was most violent, as the tablet states, no man was actually meant to be slain. Yet, any manner of injury could be sustained, including the barbaric rite of spiking the skin of a slaughtered swine down the throat of a vanquished opponent.

Yet, as violent as the extravaganza may have appeared, it’s pomp and pageantry did stir the lust within an Emperor's loins, and he always congratulated the winners.

Winsome maidens, scantily clad, gyrated sensuously to the beat of tribal drums. Trumpets blared. Banners waved.

On this Day of Self-Indulgence, clowns and musicians and fools entertained. Beer flowed like wine. Wine flowed like water. And the revilers were commanded to eat only sweets and treats, and the most delicious of meats. Yet none was of ample sustenance. Today, we'd probably call it "junk food."

And the people gambled. More shekels were wagered on this one day than on all chariot races and gladiatorial contests during the year combined.

Called "Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per," the iniquitous celebration, which was even more fun than watching fierce creatures devouring screaming slaves, falls a little more than one lunar month after Christmas, or about this time of the year as the calendar exists today.

Not since Sodom can any festivity be found so completely void of any redeeming value (other than a Bill Clinton orgy).

That was until last night in Arizona when the New England Patriots played the New York Giants in "Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per" XLII.

And how was that event exploited? Those who couldn't afford to attend, stayed home to watch all those commercials on TV. This year, a 30-second ad could cost as much as $3 million. Last year, they only cost $2.6 million each. Even if commercials were selling for $5 million apiece, they’d still be sold out.