~~ This year for Spring Break, the Blower is working on a list of guys who took their wives and teenage children to the Redneck Riviera, Naples, Destin, or Key Largo, just so they could spend all day on the beach ogling young girls' breasts. You'll never guess whose names are on that list. But they can still keep up on what’s happening in the ‘Nati by checking out the Blower. With this internet thing, we can be everywhere instantly.

~~ Meanwhile back here at The Dock, it seems three limp-wristers were arguing about the best way to get recognition. The hairdresser said he’d like to become famous for doing hairdos in Hollywood . The interior decorator said he’d like to see his work displayed in all the gay interior design magazines. And the Sissy Mayor said he’d like to throw out the first pitch on Opening Day. “Why would you want to do that?” asked the others. “So I could miss by a mile,” the Sissy Mayor replied. “Are you serious?” the others asked. “Of course,” said the Sissy Mayor. “Think of it. 60,000 fans in the stands would all be yelling ‘You Stupid Faggot!’, and if that’s not recognition, I don’t know what is!”

~~ That’s why our Quote for Today Committee wonders why Andy Warhol’s “Fifteen minutes of fame” is still not over for our Misguided Mayor.

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders why so many Christians are so upset about Chocolate Jesus candy on sale for Easter. None of the Jews he knows were upset about Chocolate Moses candy for Passover.

~~ According to our Official Whistleblower Bluegrass Primary Election Countdown Calendar, today there are only 59 more days until the primary elections on May 20. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.

~~ Goof Davis says since Congress went on Spring Break without making our tax forms easier to understand, each of his H&R Davis offices will be open every night and on weekends to help his constituents do their income taxes before Tax Day on April 15.

~~ Did Trish the dish really wonder if the bus drivers in Cincinnati were on strike, since she saw all those people walking up those long stairs to Mt. Adams on Friday? Trish also wondered why Easter always seems to come on Sunday, since Christmas comes on a different day each year.

~~ When will “Tax Freedom Day” be coming to the Bluegrass ? We asked Blackjack Brian Richmond at the Kentucky Club for Growth, and he didn’t know, so he told us to ask his fellow lobbyist Marc Wilson, but as you would expect, Marc Wilson was “Clueless.”

~~ Finally, Moms and Dads, it’s still not too late to have your kids’ pictures taken with the Evil Easter Bunny at Newport on the Levee. It only costs $5 plus sales tax. And Dads, if Mom’s not around, you can get your picture taken our favorite Easter Bunny for only $4,300.