~~ Whistleblower Senior National Political Analyst Britt Humus says the 2008 Presidential Campaign is getting to be more fun to watch, especially at The Blower, where we’re receiving more vile-and-disgusting items every day from our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers.

~~ Take this illustration showing what guys in military really think of Hillary’s claims that she landed in Bosnia under sniper fire.

~~ That’s almost as funny as the picture below showing why Obama will lose the Black vote.

~~ And how funny was it that when that story came out yesterday about Whacko Liberal DemocRAT Congressman James McDermott’s trip to Iraq (that was paid for by Saddam Hussein to trash the US right before the invasion), that there was no mention of the fact that McDermott still owes our good friend John Boehner all that money the Supreme Court said he had to pay for releasing his illegally taped phone call with Newt to the New York Times.Funny how DemocRATS think it’s OK for them to tape phone conversations, but it’s unconstitutional for the Bush administration to intercept communications among terrorists.

~~ And speaking of laughable, there’s Novak recent column saying Rob “Fighting for Failed Legacies” Portman is the “front-runner” in McCain’s Veep-stakes because “He appears to have fewer negatives than any other possibility.”

~~ Memo to Novak: How stupid are you? Without the Robmeister, we wouldn’t be pissing away all that over-taxed payers money to the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center or be saddled with his hand-picked successor—That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt.

~~ And with only 218 more days till the November Elections and the Ford Transmission Plant in Batavia planning to close at the end of May, does anybody remember Mean Jean’s press conference where she promised to find jobs for all those workers before going out and buying herself a Chevy Tahoe? The Blower does.

~~ No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose this definition of “Electile Dysfunction” for the Whistleblower Dictionary as “the inability to become positively aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.”

~~ And speaking of Bosnia , does anybody remember that time in 1996 when we reported that one of our local TV videographer was embedded in one of our local newsbimbos during a romantic getaway, if you know what we mean?

~~ We only had one right answer to yesterday’s Celebrity Trivia Question. That well known Greater Cincinnati resident who once had a small part in one of the original “ Mission Impossible” episodes on TV was not Nick Clooney, Paul Dixon, or even Bob Shreve. It was Johnny Bench, appearing as a guard in the 1971 episode entitled “The Catafalque.” Tomorrow’s Celebrity Trivia Question is what in the hell is a “Catafalque?”

~~ The do-gooders at 3CDC, Music Hall, and the Drop Inn Center may get their wish.

~~ Our Angry Andersonian says the Forest Hills Urinal was in full swoon with its Front Page announcement that the Forrest Gump $chool District had approved putting a combined operating levy and bond issue on the May 2009 ballot. Maybe that’s why they forgot to mention that Anderson High School was participating in Happy Homo Day on April 25, along with Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, Loveland , Oak Hills, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming .

~~ This pro-homosexual day communicates clear (and false) messages to ALL students in the school that: homosexuality is a worthy lifestyle; that it has few or no risks; that some people are "born" homosexual, including students; and that those who oppose this behavior are hateful and uninformed. Would that include The Blower?

~~ Finally, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1979, the worst accident in the history of the U.S. nuclear power industry began when a pressure valve in the Unit-2 reactor at Three Mile Island failed to close. Now there’s an event we think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press will remember.

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says with only 53 more days till the Bluegrass Primaries on May 20, Frivolous Fishwrapper Patsy Crowley is breathless about our good friend Nathan “Cornbread” Smith’s telling people that as vice chairman of the Kentucky DemocRAT Party, he is an uncommitted superdelegate who’s being wooed by big name DemocRATS to support either Hillary or Obama. Why else did “Cornbread” get two (not one, but two) private chats with Bill Clinton on Tuesday when the former Pants-dropper-in-Chief was in Maysville to campaign for Hillary before checking out Morehead. Total suck-up that he is, Patsy promises to report each and every conversation “Cornbread” claims he’s had with anybody connected with either Hillary’s or Obama’s campaign between now and the DemocRAT Convention in Denver this coming August. “Cornbread is shown at right celebrating his celebrity status with fellow DemocRAT Michael Liquid Plummer in their big pants.

~~ Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say in spite of the fact that the State Song (“My Old Kentucky Home”) says all our darkies are happy and gay, only five schools in the entire state have chosen to take part if Happy Homo Day on April 25, and not one of them is in Northern Kentucky, even though Covington does have its gay arts district and Devou Park is still the place to bugger.

This week, everybody who remembers when really important people threw out the first pitch on the Reds’ Opening Day instead of a sissy mayor or a county commissioner in a wheelchair, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is long-time Cincinnati Reds fan Farley Fairweather, who remembers when baseball players cared about the game, instead of just their fat paychecks. Farley wins a year’s subscription to Pete Rose’s Betting Tips, an “I Spent $287 at the Reds’ Opening Day and All I Got Was This Crappy T-Shirt” T-Shirt, a ride in the Gay Opening Day Parade with the politician of his choice, and a forged doctor’s excuse for missing work. His winning limerick is:

This year on the Reds’ Opening Day,

I plan to stay far away.

Until they receive

Some guys who believe

It isn't the pay, it's the play.

This year on the Reds’ Opening Day,

It’s a shame our old heroes can’t play.

Pete and Johnny were the best,

I miss Tony, Joe, and the rest,

All the good guys have got old and gray.

(But at least they're not "old and gay")

This year on the Reds’ Opening Day

Our civic pride is again pissed away.

Instead of Kim Nuxhall

To throw out that baseball,

A pitcher of levies is on display.

This year on Reds opening day,

$7-a-beer we will pay,

Of course we'll receive,

Many players who underachieve,

And hoping they're not out of it by May!

This year on the Red's opening day

Will our dainty Mayor once again play?

He’ll throw from the elbow like this (oof!)

And walk away, with a flounce of his pouff

But that still doesn't mean that he's gay.

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)