~~ With only 217 more days till this November’s Elections, guys at Friday’s lunch meeting of political insiders at the Conservative Agenda couldn’t stop laughing about Bob Novak’s column saying Rob “Fighting for Failed Legacies” Portman is the “front-runner” in McCain’s Veep-stakes because “He appears to have fewer negatives than any other possibility.” Then from Columbus , Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said the Dispatch is reporting John Kasich says with Ohio in a “death spiral,” the Fox News pundit is prepared to leave a lucrative private-sector career and run for the Republican nomination for governor in 2010. That’s another wet dream Portman can kiss goodbye.

~~ Yesterday The Blower sent a memo to Portman’s Puppet Bob Novak, pointing out how stupid his comments were. Without the Robmeister, we wouldn’t be pissing away all that over-taxed payers money to the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Ray roe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center or be saddled with his hand-picked successor— That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch Mean Jean “Hoffman” Schmidt. And that was even before someone sent us an invitation to Mean Jean’s $250-per-person fund-raiser at the Queen City Club on Opening Day featuring— who else, RINO Rob Portman , but with no body else willing to have his name listed on the invitation as a sponsor. This is absolutely a first for a political fund-raiser in Hamilton County .

~~ Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Clarence Darrow’s “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.”

~~ And our good friend John Boehner says at the time Whacko Liberal DemocRAT Congressmen James McDermott, David Bonior, and Jim Thompson took Saddam’s money to travel to Iraq and trash the U.S., did McDermott actually say “We don’t mind being used” by Saddam Hussein? On Thursday, David Bonior (no longer in Congress) said he is “proud” of the controversial trip.

~~ Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1973, the U.S. withdrew from Vietnam in defeat, and todat DemocRATS in Congress and their willing allies in the Liberal Press are suggesting we do the same thing in Iraq .

~~ John “No Left Turns in Goshen ” says his local Kroger's is having a special this week on crack cocaine, but you must use your Plus card and pack your own heat. A reliable source tells us Thursday’s incident was a narc squad set-up and the perp was a misunderstood African-American yoof. (Not too hard to spot in the Land O' Goshen ).

~~ A Realtor we’ll call Kathy says she celebrates Opening Day every year, not because of the baseball game or the parade, but because SHE NO LONGER WORKS DOWNTOWN AND HAS TO SIT FOR HOURS IN TRAFFIC! Kathy used to pray that just ONCE they would schedule the game to let out either before or AFTER rush hour so that people could get home from work without the madness.

~~ And what idiot would actually pay all that money to drive downtown to our Mediocre American Ball Park to see if Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioner Odd Todd Opportune embarrasses himself as much trying to throw out the first pitch on Opening Day as Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory did last year.

~~ These are sad days indeed for CityLink opponents. Many have been trying for years to revitalize our downtown neighborhoods. The riots of 2001 are in the rear view mirror and finally there is some momentum. Good things are happening. The West End finally has a legitimate group of citizens running a community council for the good of the community, not to line their own pockets. The Brewery District has a thriving group trying to re-establish a part of our history so long neglected. The Over-the-Rhine Foundation is working to promote that historic neighborhood like never before. Pocket neighborhoods like Klotter/Conroy after decades of struggle are great places to live. We could go on, but you get our point.

All of this progress is clearly threatened by the Ohio Supreme Court ruling allowing CityLink to move forward. The zoning certificate, we have fought, was obtained by closed door, behind the scenes dealings orchestrated by Dale-for-Sale Mallory, with the full knowledge of his brother the Mayor. Mark Mallory has refused to use his office as strong Mayor to publicly take a stand for or against CityLink. The neighborhood on the front line, most affected by CityLink is the Mallory's old stomping ground, Dayton Street, where this historic gem known as Millionaire's Row will have its fate forever comprised once 800 Bank Street becomes the region’s magnet for society’s problems. No longer can our City Clown-cil members sit by and say this issue is in court we can't comment on this. We need to find a way to have them join the fight and make life as difficult as possible for CityLink. This isn't over yet— at least not while this group keeps forgetting to take their meds.

Across the river the city of Covington had a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new signature building, The Ascent at Roebling's Bridge. The national press was there as Daniel Libeskind, the World Trade Center Memorial architect, released the white doves, formally opening the Ascent. Just a reminder, this past year Covington passed a zoning change eliminating emergency shelters. How ironic that on the same day many in Cincinnati felt abandoned by the hope that the neighborhoods we have worked so hard, and invested so much time and money in will be impacted beyond their control.

~~ Mt. Washington was a place where you never used to lock your doors and everyone knew his neighbors. Now that Section 8 housing has moved in, so has crime with no punishment. A baby's grave was vandalized in the Mt. Washington Cemetery . How long will it be before the beautiful bronze statue will be lifted from the same cemetery? Just look at the thugs with their pants past their shoes who are parading up and down Sutton, when they should be in school, and you'll find out who is causing the problems.

~~ Home Depot's appliance delivery men left a delightful bilingual phone message saying "We be "LaCasa" at "12 PM" with "el horno microondas" and "el congelador" (That would be midnight.. with the microwave and freezer to all of you Anglos) Welcome to the new America ! Maybe, they live in the trailer park in Mariemont on the banks of the Little Miami , as it must remind them of their crossing the Rio Grande !

~~ Residents on a quiet street in Hamilton County were surprised today when a big Metropolitan Sewer District truck pulled up and began blowing pressurized air into a sewer in the street, causing their toilets and showers to blow out projectile raw sewage all over. When the residents ran out and told the men from MSD, the men just laughed and ramped up the pressure for 20 more minutes. The truck then left the street and followed a convoluted path through several towns, circling around streets in Madisonville , running red lights, swerving, and finally pulling into the MSD garage in Hartwell. They weren't working, they were just driving around. We thought the MSD was busy with flood problems, not doing casual sewer maintenance that was unauthorized by their supervisors. Who's in charge at MSD? Bozo the Clown?

~~ Columbus is planning on building a streetcar with plans to add 4% to all event tickets to pay for their Trolley Folley. 4% on parking lots and any event within a four block area of the trolley. Will Cincinnati follow suite and add 4% to all purchases at Findley Market, drugs sold on Main Street , BJs from hookers on Liberty ?

~~ Now here’s a suggestion to the City for ways to earn zillions: put a camera at the I-75 south bound exit to the Norwood Lateral. Take photos of the bums and their license plates who throw beer bottles, fast food wrappers, bags and assorted mountains of litter at that location. The fine for littering would pay for the cameras and help pay for the dangerous clean-ups under the left turn on to Route 561.

~~ An AM Radio listener says a family member who actually finds 55KRC listenable in the morning, tells him that "Scott Fitzgerald," who's sitting in this week for Brian Thomas, has on more than one occasion made nepotism jokes about Brian Thomas in Brian's absence. Since "Scott Fitzgerald" is actually the son of "Jim Scott," wasn't this an interesting development? Is this actually a poke at Thomas, or is this a cheesy joke between two broadcasters who have gotten where they are because of their dads? By the way, AM was wondering whether their boss, Darryl Parks, local Clear Channel program director, is a descendant of Channel 12's 1960's weatherman of the same name? Any idea?

~~ Finally, Alternative Life-styles Columnists Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis wonder why the only Hamilton County High Schools celebrating Happy Homo Day on April 25 include Anderson, Cincinnati Country Day, Finneytown, Indian Hill, Loveland, Oak Hills, St. Xavier, Walnut Hills, Western Hills, and Wyoming. Don’t the other schools realize homosexuality is a worthy lifestyle; that it has few or no risks; that some people are "born" homosexual, including students; and that those who oppose this behavior are hateful and uninformed?

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says a DemocRAT, a Republican, and a midget with a temper were walking down the street discussing how some politicians stretch the truth in order to get votes.

The DemocRAT said, “Just the other day Ken Easterling came to see me and he said he was a Democrat.”

The Republican said, “No kidding? Ken Easterling came to see me and he swore he was a Republican.”

Then the midget with a temper said, “You're both lying sacks of crap, and I'm going to throw your fat asses in jail. I never came to see either of you.”

~~ There are only 52 more days will our Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20. Quick— other than the Presidential Race, can you think of anybody who’s even running?

~~ Finally, Hillary’s coming to Kentucky today, and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith is no doubt already in transit for another important meeting. At an even more monumental event, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and the guys from Flashlight Theatre have another taping at plush TBNB Studios in Latonia this afternoon.