Opening Day isn’t an official holiday on the calendar, but maybe in Cincinnati it should be, because with all that hype, tomorrow will probably be one of the most unproductive work days of the year.

Hurley the Historian says he remembers when Opening Day used to be really important, because the Reds always hosted Major League Baseball's first game of the season. Now like everything else, MLB’s Opening Day has been exported overseas. So much for America ’s Pastime.

We remember when Baseball used to be a game, and it wasn’t just about the money. Isn’t anybody tired of watching Senor Bob pay millions for mediocrity and hope his players over-achieve? You’d think Bronson Arroyo could afford a freaking haircut. Where do these overpaid athletes think they’re playing anyway — in the NFL?

And will Dusty Baker do for the Reds what Marvin “Black Jesus” Lewis did for the Bungals? We certainly hope not.

That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Chico Escuela’s “Baseball has been berry, berry good to me.”

Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says, “Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks, because you sure as hell won’t be able to afford $8 for a Skyline three-way, $7 for a Servanti’s crème puff, or $4.75 for a single slice of LaRosa’s cheese or pepperoni pizza.”

The Downtown Clown-cil says, “Don’t forget the cost and hassle of parking.”

The Annual Findlay Market Parade would be a lot shorter if politicians were not permitted. But with only 216 more days till the November Elections, you know some of them would walk anyway without registering or paying the fees. Have you ever heard of a politician paying for an Opening Day ticket? That would be a first! But Opening Day is still a great day for a fund-raiser. How cheesy is that?

And how about those special Opening Day sections in the Fishwrap? Maybe Skaggie Maggie just wants to sell a few more ads. We understand Gannett could really use the money.

On TV this weekend we’ll be watching all those Opening Day weather reports.

And when a guy like Judge Mark Painter tells you how many Opening Day’s he’s been to, just think of all the work he’s missed. Bobby Leach says a guy calls in sick for Opening Day. His boss asks "How sick are you?" The guy says, "I'm home having sex with my sister. Is that sick enough?”

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says there are only 51 more days until the Bluegrass Primary Elections on May 20, but did you know, Opening Day for the Florence Freedom on May 21 at Erpenbeck Stadium is already sold out. Yeah, but who’s going to throw out the first pitch.

We wonder if Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson will be in the stands, dreaming about all those batters his old boss “BeanBall Jim” Bunning used to plunk.

And all the restaurants and bars in Northern Kentucky will be celebrating Opening Day too. There’s no place near the stadium to go after the game, unless you count the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Ray roe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center .

And this year on Opening Day, over at Channel 19, will Trish the Dish once again ask if the Reds are already mathematically eliminated?

Let’s see— we guess that pretty much covers all the bases for our Opening Day E-dition.

e-mail your over-the-top observations today.