Before every election, The Whistleblower is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2008, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before the elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.

But political scientists are puzzled: How can elected officials be convicted of lying by the Ohio Elections Commission, tell more lies the next day, and the press won't even hold them accountable?

Unlike the so-called mainstream news media like Skaggie Maggie 's Feckless Fishwrap, whose totally discredited political endorsements and news coverage are so often interchangeable, The Whistleblower continues to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue. On rare occasions we even use humor or satire to make a point. We trust our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision.

And since we never accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interests to dictate their extreme prejudices, we wouldn't insult our readers by presuming they're not bright enough and sufficiently critical to evaluate what we've presented, along with everything else they've seen, read, heard, and smelled so they can make up their own minds.

Let's face it: Prostitutes in the Press and trash-talkers on the radio will take money to promote both sides of any candidate or issue, whether they believe them or not. They'll always ignore false claims in lying, last-minute desperate negative attack ads from despicable candidates, as long as those commercials are paid-for-in advance. There's no limit on how much money they'll accept from anyone, all in the name of promoting "free" speech. We would be surprised if tomorrow's turnout would be a lot lower than Kneepad Liberals in the Press are hoping for.

Therefore, we won't make political endorsements, either for candidates or issues. We're doing our job. Now it's time for you to get off your fat couch-potato asses and do yours.

Our Quote for Today Committee chose the prophetic words of Jesse "The Body" Ventura : "If you don't vote, you'll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are."

Remember what those Loony Libertarians always say: A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. People who don’t stand for something will fall for anything. No matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.

But the Blower says regardless of the outcome of tomorrow’s primary elections, Hurley the Historian predicts consequences for the local GOP will be profound, because no matter what happens, the struggle for the soul of the local Republican Party will continue, hastening the day when the last “pink” urban county in Ohio turns “blue” and a tremendously weakened Republican base in Southwest Ohio fails to prevent the Buckeye State from winding up in Hillary’s or Obama’s column on Election Night 2008. Isn’t it finally about time for Failed Temporary Hamilton County RINO Party Boss George Vincent to take our hint, resign in disgrace, and be replaced with a Real Conservative, somebody like our good friend Judge Alex Triantafilou (pronounced “Alex”)?

The Blower has done exhaustive polling, tracking the mood of likely voters across the Tri-state.

Monday, we'll reveal the winners even before the polls open. It's scientific. It's precise. And it's guaranteed accurate.

Screw the pundits. Forget exit polls. Persons of consequence on our special “Whistleblower Insiders List” will see Tuesday's winners exclusively in a special Monday edition of The Blower.

Pundits are perplexed: How can dumbed-down voters say "character" matters when so many politicians who claimed term limits were a great idea when they were first elected, still plan to keep voting themselves pay raises and perks until the day they die.

Analysts are amazed: How can anybody believe "leadership" is vital when so many overpaid incumbents are running unopposed?

Critics are confused: How can We the Over-Taxed Payers vote for feel-good tax levies without knowing how much they'll actually cost, especially after some Disingenuous DemocRAT in the county auditor’s office keeps jacking up your property values? Why the local GOP let him run unopposed is beyond us! Remember when "Beanball Jim" Bunning called Bill Clinton the most corrupt, amoral, and despicable president he'd ever seen? We can only wonder what the old Beanballer has to say about some of the other sleazebags we see running for office these days.

With our help, this year’s campaigns seem a lot nastier than ever, last-minute mudslinging and dirty tricks are the order of the day, every candidate claims he has a poll that says he’s way ahead, some Liberal DemocRATS won’t even admit which political party they’re representing, a record amount of money is being spent to get these bozos elected, and nobody’s quite sure where all this fat kat kash is coming from, but there doesn’t seem to be a record number of complaints at the Elections Commission. Still, the Ghost of Richard Nixon says all of these people are giving politics a bad name.

Historically, Kneepad Liberals in the Press always allow Liberals to play the race card against Conservatives and publish last-minute hit pieces in cahoots with campaigns they’re in league with a few days before an election and lavish free undeserved publicity on candidates they support. The press and our so-called business leaders still won't accept responsibility for the part their politically correct pandering has played in causing our moral abyss. This nation now has the kind of government it truly deserves for the same reason The Blower said the former Pants-dropper-in-Chief was first elected, in our Nov. 4, 1992, edition.

We asked: "How else could you explain how average Americans, 95% of whom learn everything they know about politics by watching lying TV campaign ads and daily distortions on local and national television newscasts presented by the liberal media, 89% of whom voted for Slick, would prefer to send to the White House, a shameless, tax-evading, draft-dodging, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar who will surely drag the nation down to the level of Arkansas?"

Then we answered: "Except that all those shameless tax-evaders, draft-dodgers, dope-smokers, pants-dropping wife-cheaters, and liars want people in office just like themselves."

And you must admit: Slick is still keeping his end of the bargain, and DemocRATS and their willing accomplices in the liberal press are still doing their best to keep his legacy alive.

Ever since the elections in 2000, it’s been non-stop Bush-bashing for DemocRATS and their willing accomplices in the news media. Now they’re predicting not a single Republican anywhere will be elected in November, and with DemocRATS still in control of Congress, there’s still time for some last-minute investigations and their-long hoped for impeachment of George W. Bush before he leaves office.

Is it any wonder that during this election cycle, the Whistleblower Truth Squad has been busier than ever exposing all of those candidates’ false claims and outright lies that members of the mainstream news media have been too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to report? Why else have these JINOs (Journalists in Name Only) been aiding and abetting the Liberal Agenda? For the most part we’ve successfully ignored the claptrap coming from all those bloggers in their basements trying to convince each other they have something important to say.

And with the endless media hype we’ve been hearing for weeks about the importance of tomorrow’s DemocRAT Primary in Ohio , is it any wonder if there are still people out there wondering when the Republican primary is?

Finally, before tomorrow, Real Republicans should be joining DemocRATS asking the Ohio Secretary of State to supervise elections in Clermont County . During the last four elections we've heard about massive voting irregularities, and now that some public officials in Clermont County are being investigated, many are concerned that there's even more opportunity for voter fraud. Why do you think we call them Mean Jean's Crooked Cronies?