~~ With only 179 more days till the November Elections, our DC Newsbreaker in Washington says according to CQ Politics, Republican Minority Leader John Boehner told his caucus behind closed doors Tuesday that Americans won’t vote for Republicans until they fix their “brand” and convince voters they will fix Washington . Writing in the magazine Human Events, Newt Gingrich called for a “complete overhaul” of the National Republican Campaign Committee and said GOP lawmakers needed a new message by Memorial Day. It’s just like what the Blower’s been saying almost every day ever since the 2006 Election: these guys need to figure out why they got their asses kicked in 2006 and get themselves a game plan for 2008.

~~ We checked out Bob Novak’s latest column and surprise, surprise—we didn’t see Rob “fighting for Furiously for Failed Legacies” Portman’s name mentioned a single time as John McCain’s choice for Vice President.

~~ And it’s been twelve days since the historic Maupin Funeral Fiasco, and not a single member of the mendacious news media (especially WCPO’s Tom McKee, reporting live from the first annual Matt Maupin Memorial Kids Fishing Tournament tomorrow at Pattison Park near Owensville; Chuck Gibson, at the Loveland Herald; Daily Bellwether Publisher Bill Sloat; Mark Sheldon at MLB.com who wrote “Services for Maupin expected to draw 40,000 to ballpark”), Joe Wessels publisher and Executive Director at CinDaily.com, TV 5’s Sandra and Sheree and their two military analysts, along with Huggable Howard and Barrett J. Brunsman at the Fishwrap) has reported the cost of all that Hype, how much the Maupins are making out of Maupin Mania, and who’s footing the bill.

~~ It’s also been a dozen days and there are still 427 yellow ribbons tied to trees, bushes, and telephone poles along the Matt Maupin Memorial Highway on Route 32 from Newtown Road to Beechmont, and Whistleblower Truth Squad Investigative Reporter Fearless Ferrett says if you want faster service when you call the Yellow Ribbon Litter Removal Hot Line at 513-791-0981, you should ask for Linda.

~~ Barney from Batavia says The Blower should be commended for our coverage of the Matt Maupin fiasco and offers another point of contention. On the home page of the Fishwrap's website there’s a photo captioned "Remembering Matt Maupin." A number of people are miffed that for some reason Skaggie Maggie has seen fit to continue to showcase Matt Maupin twelve days after his burial with a banner on their website to the exclusion of others who have died in action. None of the others who preceded him in death while serving all of us have received such attention. Although we know a few people who have contacted the Fishwrap about this, Maupin Mania still rules.

~~ Did Duffy “The Marcus Expoliter” Beischel forget to e-mail us his update from Wednesday night’s big meeting of the Anderson Township Republican Club, or is Club President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson still not finished with his brief introductory remarks?

~~ In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Depraved DemocRAT Attorney General Marc Dann is looking more like former Pants-dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton every day, at least according to this cartoon by our old friend Jeff Stahler now at the Dispatch, since he had to get another job before The Blower put the ComPost out of business.

~~ Official Whistleblower Expert Philandering Politicians Analyst Mike Allen wonders if Marc Dann will be out before he can collect double his Ohio Public Employee Retirement. If he quits before a certain date, there has to be a new election. If he hangs on until fall and then quits, the Gay-venor can appoint a new Attorney General to serve out the term. Guess that means the Gay-venor won’t be quite so demanding Dann resigns for a while.

~~ Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1960, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the world's first commercially produced birth-control bill--Enovid-10. and Bobby Leach says that’s the last day he ever wore a rubber. Our Quote for Today Committee chose Joan Rivers’ “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”

~~ Commenting on the vacancy on the Green Township Board of Trustees, West Side Waldo says Tony Rosiello (aka Rosie-fellow) is a current member of the Land Use Planning Committee that thinks high-end stores will still be coming to Green Township to fulfill soon-to-be-ex-trustee Mitchell's all-wet-dream of Legacy Place. Since Tony is a former small business man (he worked at Radio Shack) and also does volunteer work with needy seniors, that makes him the next most qualified person available to fill the ample seat of Chuck Porky Mitchell.

~~ Folks handling reservations for that McCain fund-raiser at Carl Linder III’s Indian Hill estate tell us there will be very few freebies. We can hear the whining now.

~~ Remember a while ago when The Blower told you about all the students from Oak Hills High School who were arrested in Indiana at a wild drugs and booze party? Now that high school has another student in the news. Robert Super, 18, a senior at Oak Hills High School and due to graduate from there in two weeks, was in Hamilton County court Wednesday for robbing a friend's home with the cooperation of the friend, Nick Long. Maybe Oak Hills High School should add a probation officer on staff.

~~ Next week, Cincinnati State 's culinary institute is opening the Summit Restaurant, where the students can try out food prep with real customers. Don't expect any bargains here--prices are $48 for an appetizer, entrée, and dessert. And there's no guarantee the food will be any good. In this economy, they might want to reconsider their prices.

~~ And speaking of food, Harriet from Hyde Park recently overheard four people at a restaurant derisively discussing the Fishwrap's Foodie Report blog, written by five airhead contributors. They said it reads like it's written for first graders. The blog discusses failing restaurants months after they have already closed, and spends the majority of their space talking about "what I'm thinking about maybe fixing for dinner."

~~ Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says several people have asked if that business card Kenton County Deputy Judge Defective Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich listing his official county office phone, cell phone, and e-mail address on the business card for our Trooper Babe's campaign is real. Yes, Virginia , it’s like we always say, if you see it published in the Whistleblower it must be true. It’s not like we’ve ever scammed our readers before.

~~ The League of Women Vipers reminds us that today the Official Whistleblower Bluegrass Primary Election Countdown Calendar says there are only 11 more days until the Bluegrass primary elections on May 20. A totally exhausted voter from Boone County wrote the Blower’s Northern Kentucky Bureau to ask if the Blower will be going out of business after the May 20 primary. Not to worry. As long as there our stupid politicians and Kneepad Liberals in the Press, there will always be a Whistleblower.

~~ Patsy Crowley had a post on his blog that stated McCain would be addressing National Rifle Association members in Louisville . As Goof Doofus would say, somebody ought to tell that boy thugs carrying weapons in the inner city are usually not card-carrying NRA members. In a related story, the CamBoozler asked that all moderates who plan on voting for John McCain in the May 20 primary, please send your phone number to the Blower. Dick-Rowing would like to make a robo calls to your house.

~~ The Boone County Sheriff’s Deputies have made a mental note of the two locations of Barack Obama yard signs in the county, in case they need to direct the fire department to either of the locations. Ken CamBoo says the deputies may want to make those same mental notes, if they would happen to see a John McCain sign.

~~ The Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief for the Blower is asking any Blower reader to e-mail us if you spot a John McCain commercial featuring the three Judge Defectives in Northern Kentucky endorsing McCain like they did with Bush in ‘04. IAt the same time, someone may want to inform Senator Demon Nay-Thayer that he’s in jeopardy of losing his position as head of the Northern Kentucky Legislative Caucus if he insists on keeping that McCain Bumper Sticker on his vehicle.

~~ Bubba from Brookville wrote the Blower to ask if Republicans are obligated to feel the same white guilt toward our war hero candidate as Divided DemocRATS are feeling toward their candidate’s blackness?

~~ The Blower has asked the local newspapers in Grant and Owen counties to e-mail us and let us know exactly what page in the paper did they inform their readers that their Judge Executives are supporting Barack Obama for President. The Blower Bureau Chief from Northern Kentucky said it must have something to do with those two elected officials reading somewhere that the young educated, and guilty white elitists seem to support Obama.

~~ Charlie Walton called the Blower the other day to report that being a Baptist he is not sure what to think of the many calls he has received from members of the Northern Kentucky Chamber of Commerce after this weeks Forum at the beautiful Crestview Hills City Building. Charlie said all the calls begin with “Forgive me Father for I know not what I have done,” followed by “What is your address again?”

~~ Boone County Judge Gary Moore-or-Less said after watching the debate on ICN 6, he’s glad that he has not endorsed a candidate for the 11TH Senate Seat, and he also said in the future, all candidates for jailer in Boone County will be sent to Florence Elementary School for a class in public speaking.

~~ Now look how far Steve “I’m 5’0, Not 4’11” Megerle will go to get out of those speeding tickets: At Wednesday night’s candidate’s forum, Little Stevie really laid it on thick for the police officers present: "We live in a much safer city than we did two years ago," said incumbent Steve Megerle. "Last year, in 2007, there was a 16 percent reduction in crime. Violent crime - homicides, robberies, rapes, assaults, sex offenses, were reduced by 24 percent, thanks to our Covington police officers and our new chief." Don’t you just hate sniveling suck-ups?

~~ Finally, Mischievous Mike Sadouskas sends word that the Campbell County premiere of Flashlight Theater last Saturday night produced the best ratings in Channel 20’s history. The Campbell County Program Center ’s phone lines and e-mail inbox were jammed. Because of the tremendous response, Campbell County Channel 20 scheduled the pilot episode of Flashlight Theater that ran last night at 10PM to repeat next Monday, May 12 at the same 10 PM time slot. Check it out and you’ll also get to see the 1964 vampire zombie thriller “Last Man On Earth” starring Vincent Price. Stay tuned!

This week, everybody who was hoping to see another Cinci de Mayo riot, faxed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is Juan Carlos Gonzales de Lopez Ruiz, or as his fellow residents in Lower Price Hill call him, "Hey, Wetback."

Juan wins an "I Tried to Start a Riot and All I Could Steal Was This Crappy T-Shirt" T-shirt, an off-the-books construction job from a local award-winning homebuilder, nude photos of Sasha Rionda, and tips on how to evade the INS from the Illegal Aliens Association. His winning entry is: