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=
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— &=
nbsp; Speci=
al “Busiest Shoplifting Day of the Y=
ear”
E-dition —
![3DQ-091127.GIF](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image004.jpg")
![3D"cid:187043520@22102009-1215"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image005.jpg")
Friday,
November 27, 2009
Top Ten List
![3D"turkey-flu](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image007.jpg")
&n=
bsp;
Today it's the Top Ten things The Blower was grateful for this
Thanksgiving:
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bsp;
10. The First Amendment.
&n=
bsp;
9. Seeing the local RINO Party getting exactly what it deserved again on
Election Day, especially after our prediction came true last year and Hamil=
ton
County turned 40 shades of “Blue,” as anti-taxers and Conservatives are now
forced to look for leadership from the likes of the Cincinnati Tea Party and
the Cincinnati 9/12 Project.
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bsp;
7. Politicians and lovely ladies coming from all over wanting to buy our lu=
nch.
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bsp;
6. Our snitches are everywhere.
&n=
bsp;
5. Lazy, stupid, and dishonest Fishwrappers lettin=
g The
Blower scoop them every day.
&n=
bsp;
4. Folks in Northern Kentucky are still stealing all that business fr=
om
Ohio.
&n=
bsp;
3. The many members of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team, for keeping us o=
ut
of trouble for the past seventeen years; Award-winning Photo Illustrator Ar=
tis
Conception; and those guys from “Not the Fishwrap” who help us comfort the
afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
&n=
bsp;
2. All those folks who keep trying to offer The Blower a lot of mone=
y to
advise them on their political campaigns.
&n=
bsp;
...and the Number One thing The Blo=
wer
was grateful for this Thanksgiving is... All those Gluttons for Punishment =
who
make it easy for us to affirm Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto.
Let’s all say it together: “Because wherever there's
corruption, we'll be there. Wherever there's injustice, we'll be there. And
wherever there's a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we'll be t=
here
too...holding the little guy down, and that goes double for Lying Bitches. =
&n=
bsp;
Prostituting Proclamations
&nb=
sp; Many people were really impresse=
d a
few years ago when the Morning Fishwrap actually published George
Washington's original Thanksgiving message on its idiotorial page. The only
problem was Skaggie Maggie's politically correct fanatics cut out half of i=
t,
and lower-cased all references to the Almighty. This year, they didn't even=
run
it at all.
![3DGeorge-Washington](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image008.jpg")
&nb=
sp;
Now here's =
the
full text of Washington's Thanksgiving message (with the part the Fishwrap
censored shown in parentheses.) References =
to
the Almighty in the part they did publish are shown in bold face type, so y=
ou
can try to keep count of their blasphemies.
=
=
&n=
bsp;
Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey =
His
will, to be grateful for His benefits, and
humbly to implore His protection and favor=
; and
Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me
"to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public
thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hear=
ts
the many and signal favors of Almighty God,
especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of
government for their safety and happiness:"
=
=
Now, therefore, I do recommend a=
nd
assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people=
of
these States to the service of that great and glorious Being
who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or t=
hat
will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him
our sincere and humble thanks for His kind=
care
and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a
nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interposition=
s of
His providence in the course and conclusio=
n of the
late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we h=
ave
since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been
enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happine=
ss,
and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and
religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acqui=
ring
and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and vari=
ous
favors which He has been pleased to confer=
upon
us.
=
=
&n=
bsp;
[This en=
tire
paragraph was cut out] And also that we may then unite in most humbly
offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Natio=
ns
and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable =
us
all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and rela=
tive
duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessin=
g to
all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and
constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to prot=
ect
and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness=
to
us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote
the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of
science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a
degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.)
=
=
&n=
bsp;
Given under my hand, at the City of=
New
York, the 3rd day of October, A.D. 1789.
![3D"cid:image035.jpg@01C95089.63A41890"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image009.jpg")
So why do these liberal fanatics=
see
fit to censor an historical document written by the Father of Our Country? =
For
the same reason a dog licks himself. Because they can! Not only does God not
belong in our schools, according to them, but they must also believe He doe=
sn't
even deserve a mention on their idiotorial pages, except when they’re showi=
ng
pictures of all those atheist billboards. But why worry? Their dumbed-down,
self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct
uninformed short-attention-span readers will never know the difference.
&nb=
sp; Conservative Curmudgeons like Stu
Mahlin will no doubt send them another angry letter that they won’t print. =
&nb=
sp; Anybody concerned with accuracy =
in the
news media should also be outraged.
&nb=
sp; Meanwhile, here at The Blower=
,
it only makes us wonder about "the rest of the news they seem to
lose."
&nb=
sp;And <=
/span>Hurley
the Historian says it's just one more reason to cancel your Fishwrap subscription.
![3Dreporter-ani](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image010.gif")
<=
![endif]>Stor=
ies
We’re Working On
![](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image011.gif")
Time for another GOP Contract with America?
Obama says one of these days he’ll decid=
e on
sending more =
troops
to Afghanistan
Freeloaders at the Freebee Store
No
KKK display on Fountain Square?
The Mysteries of Tryptophan
More local layoffs
If
Democracy doesn’t work, try anarchy
Whistleblower Web
Poll
![3D"family_sleeping_in_airport.jpg"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image013.jpg")
&n=
bsp;
This week, here's =
how
the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most patriotic
Americans would be celebrating this Thanksgiving Day:
(A) Giving thanks to God: 2%
(B) Watching their cholesterol soar: 2%
(C) Waiting in traffic or at airports: 4%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 92%
![3D"cid:image021.gif@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image014.gif")
Note:
Everything we write doesn't have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, i=
t's
just so much more fun that way!
Thanksgiving Traditions
&nb=
sp; This week, everybody who thinks
Thanks-getting would be even more fun than Thanksgiving, e-mailed an entry =
to
the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
![3D"nodding](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image015.jpg")
=
The winner is Sidney Stuffit, wh=
o says
the best part about Thanksgiving at Grandma's house is taking a nap followi=
ng
the after-dinner farting contest during the football game. Sidney wins a
reprint of The Blower's "Things That Sound Dirty on Thanksgiving,"=
; a
chance to be a judge at Phil Burr-ass' Phallic Mashed Potato Sculpture Cont=
est,
and front-row seats at the annual re-enactment of Miles Standish's gay naked
gravy-wrestling match with Squanto. His winning limerick is:
The best part of Thanksgiving Da=
y,
=
Is
having the family for a short stay,
=
We've
made a deal,
=
That
after the meal,
=
We'll
be watching their tail lights as they drive away.
Dishonorable
Mentions
The best part of Thanksgiving Da=
y
Will be watching the NFL play.
But over at the Obama White Hous=
e
Every homosexual socialist louse=
Will be gleefully toasting our
nation’s decay.
The best part of Thanksgiving Day,
Is
two days off with normal pay,
The
NFL all day long,
You
just can't go wrong,
We
don't have to watch the Bungals play!
The
best part of Thanksgiving Day
Before
dinner, with your family you pray;
But
you gorge down your food,
And
with your in-laws in a bad mood,
Makes
you wish you were far, far away.
&n=
bsp; The
best part about Thanksgiving Day
&n=
bsp;
Is when everyone finally goes away.
&n=
bsp; The
kitchen’s a wreck,
&n=
bsp; And
the place looks like heck,
&n=
bsp; Next
year, it’s at YOUR house, Okay?
The
best part about Thanksgiving Day
Is
after you put the turkey away
You
lie down on the couch
No
longer a grouch
'Cause
football chased the talking heads away.
The
best part of Thanksgiving Day
(Besides
getting the day off with pay)
Is
to sit on your ass
While
you have your wife pass
More
white meat and dressing your way.
The
best part about Thanksgiving Day
When
the guests have all gone away
You
can unplug the phone
And
with a hottie be alone
And
it's time for a roll in the hay!
The
best part of Thanksgiving Day
It’s
always a "day off with pay."
But
with Obama’s greedy guile
We
all bend over and smile,
And
give thanks while we drive it away.
&n=
bsp;
And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly
mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Republican):
![3D"Marc](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image017.jpg")
The best part of Thanksgiving Da=
y
=
Obama
gives us the day off with pay!
=
I
couldn't get much higha
=
Oh
how I love The Messiah
=
But
I pray that he soon goes away!
&n=
bsp; The best part of Thanksgiving Day
&n=
bsp; Is
that 2013 ain't that far away.
&n=
bsp; That's when His Excellency
&n=
bsp; Will vacate the Presidency
&n=
bsp; And
we can start making things OK.
<=
!--[if gte vml 1]>![3D"Another](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image018.jpg")
The first line=
of
next week's limerick is:
“
![3D"cid:image023.jpg@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image019.jpg")
![3Dindigestion.jpg](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image021.jpg")
WEIGHT GAINERS=
=
HOT LINE
![3D"cid:image026.jpg@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image022.jpg")
![3D"Alex-Blue](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image024.jpg")
Link =
of the
Day
2009 Biggest Turkey o=
f the
Year Contest Winner
&n=
bsp;
<=
/b>![3D"cid:image028.gif@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image025.gif")
Note: We guarantee
Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their
computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.<=
span
style=3D'color:blue'>
![3D"Memorial](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image027.jpg")
=
Some
Thanks-giving items in today's Blower were sent in by our equally Thanks-gi=
ving
subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.<=
span
style=3D'color:red'>
![3D"cid:image029.jpg@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image028.jpg")
![3D"email](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image029.jpg")
<=
![endif]>To be
considered for an e-mail subscription to The Whistleblower Newswire publish=
ed
eight days per week, persons of consequence anywhere in the world may apply=
by
e-mailing requests to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com.
(But persons w=
ho’ve
been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and
shakers and are declared “Persons of Inconsequence” will be removed without
notice.)
The E=
xtra
Special Whistleblower Insiders
E-dit=
ion is
by invitation only.
![3D"cid:image031.jpg@01CA5335.3C3133B0"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image030.jpg")
&=
nbsp;
![3Dfishwrap](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image031.gif")
&=
nbsp;
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of t=
he
mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call =
The
Fishwrap.
<=
o:p>
<= o:p>
![3DNotTheFishwrap](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image033.jpg")
=
And to
check out some of the latest videos submitted, see what those politically
incorrect folks at =
“Not the
Fishwrap” are doing.
<=
o:p>
![3Dman](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image034.jpg")
=
Note=
: people
who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on the=
ir
home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time
reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have somethi=
ng
to snitch).
![3Dcin](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Friday_November_27_2009_files/image035.jpg")
=
&nbs=
p;
Remember: you can still be offended by The Blower on the Internet at <=
/span>The Cincinnatus Standard.