— &nb= sp; S= pecial “Teleprompter President” E-dition —

&= nbsp;

= Saturday, March 28, 2009

They Call Obama “TOTUS” (Teleprompter of the United States)

   = ;         Our media watchdog Har= ry the Cable Guy continues to be amazed by the lap dancing libs at PMSNBC. Harry couldn’t help but laugh about the disgraced plagiarist Mike Barnucklehead’s weak attempt to defend President Barack Hussein Obama’s inability to string more than a few words together without Bud Schlafly’s most famous invention . . . the teleprompter. “Given= the fact that our economy is in total meltdown and North Korea and Iran are ratcheting up their nuclear saber-rattling to a fever-pitch, should we real= ly be focusing on the President’s use of a teleprompter?” opined t= he crusty copycat on Morning Blow. Our buddy Harry looks at it differently. Ha= rry suggests these domestic and international crises are precisely why we shoul= d be concerned that the leader of what we used to call the Free World CANNOT STR= ING MORE THAN A FEW WORDS TOGETHER WITHOUT THAT FREAKING TELEPROMPTER!

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   = ;         Maybe that’s why our Q= uote for Today Committee chose that line from Will Farrell’s “Anchorman” movie: “ Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?”

<= o:p>

   = ;         But, there is still justice = in the world. While sifting through the most recent Nielsen ratings, our media watchdog made note of the fact that the conservative-leaning FOX News has higher primetime ratings than CNN, Headline News, and the dreaded PMSNBC combined! In fact, the abysmal Countdown with Keith Olbermann receives lover ratings than FOX News mid-morning programming! That is an almost unpreceden= ted failure, although as much as you could expect from the likes of Mr. Olberma= nn. So, contrary to what many of us resisting BHO’s push to turn the US i= nto North America’s version of Venezuela feared after November’s election, there are a whole lot of us Conservatives left to stand up for liberty and the free enterprise system.

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   = ;         Harry’s beautiful brid= e Mary did suggest one theory for the FOX ratings juggernaut. The Cable Gal based = her hypothesis on a trend she spotted during BHO’s recent cyber-Town Hall= meeting. You see, the number one question asked of our supreme leader during this “historic” event was if he supported legalizing marijuana. Mary theorizes that most liberal BHO supporters are so stoned by the time the 8 o’clock primetime hour arrives every night that they can’t find their TV remote controls. That may explain the actions of about 63.5 million people last November as well.

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   = ;         Our oft-kneed-in-the-nuts po= litical pundit William F. Wisniewski is wondering if anyone knows what Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd’s latest version of events surrounding the AIG Executive Bonus amendment to the bail out bill is. Does he now remember authoring the amendment back in the fall? Was it the fault of some poor sch= lep on his staff who was acting without orders from the Senator? Are the Senator’s statements no longer operative? Have the campaign donations= to Senator Dodd from the aforementioned AIG Executives cleared his bank account yet? Mary the Cable Gal called the Wizzer to suggest that, given Dodd’= ;s increasingly faulty memory, the Senator may want to delay firing up his eve= ning bong until primetime programming concludes.

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   = ;         Our Ornery Observer wonders = if you have been paying any attention to how quickly President Barack Hussein Obam= a is completely dismantling the defense structure that has somehow managed to prevent any further terrorist attacks following the atrocity a few folks st= ill remember . . . 9/11. He is returning to the old failed Clinton view that dealing with jihadist= s who want to kill our children while they sleep is simply a law enforcement matt= er. The Ornery One reminds us that Homeland Insecurity Director Janet Napolitano won’t even use the word “terrorism.” Napolitano is much l= ike a child who thinks she is invisible simply because she has closed her eyes. What has our Observer really ticked-off is the late-breaking news that some= of the erstwhile enemy combatant terrorists who BHO is releasing from GITMO will be set free among us right here in the good old USofA. And, they are going to = be put on the welfare rolls. Yes, you read that correctly. BHO will give these= men who were killing our soldiers in Afghanista= n and Iraq= food stamps so that they don’t have to get a friggin’ job! Then they can spend more time planning their next terrorist attack. They’ll call it “Food Stamps for Car Bombers.”

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   = ;         Larry the Varmint from Virginia says Joe Biden's prediction is coming true. North Korea is planning to launch a miss= ile, not a satellite, according to intelligence reports and this brings us to Joe Biden's prediction he made as a Presidential candidate that Obama would be tested on his foreign affairs experience. And all of this when Obama came to the conclusion that kissing ass is a lot cheaper than kicking ass. But then= did we really expect anything other than this attitude from our beloved Messiah= ?

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&nb= sp;           The Chicago Tribune story on the White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel's = pay as a board member at Freddie Mac led Mark Steyn to suggest just now that the AIG 90% tax ought to be made retroac= tive for that small band of profiteers who guided Freddie and Fannie down the ro= ad to virtual bankruptcy. We wonder if Karl Rove would have survived on t= he White House staff after such a story? Would any Republican— not to imply that any Republican would be that dishonest or unethical?=

&nb= sp;           On Late Night TV, Jay Leno says, “President Obama gave an online town ha= ll meeting. The first time a president has ever done that. Only three people wanted to know about the economy; only two people asked about Iraq; but 17,= 000 people wanted to be his BFF — ‘best friends forever.’ = 221;

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   = ;         And did you hear that TSA made two AIG executives empty their pockets for airpo= rt screening. Imagine their embarrassment when Chris Dodd fell out.=

<= o:p>

= ;           Finally, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1979, the worst accident in the history of the U.S. nu= clear power industry began when a pressure valve in the Unit-2 reactor at Three Mile Island failed to close. Now there’= s an event we think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press might remember.=

=

Obamanomics Update

     Not much has been said about anothe= r big banks insider pal and Obama economic advisor, 70-year old Robert Rubin.&nbs= p; Ruben was at--what a surprise--Goldman Sachs for 26 years before becoming Secretary of the Treasury during the Clinton administration. Both Timmy Geithner and Larry Summers are protegees of Robert Rubin. Rubin is now tirelessly working to make sure there is no diversity of opinion on Obama's economic team, even placing his own son on = that team.

·      &= nbsp; Rubin was U.S. Treasury Secretary during the 1990's financial crisis. He was succeed= ed in July 1999 by Larry Summers.

·      &= nbsp; In 1997, with Treasury secretary Rubin's encouragement, the NY Federal Reserve, under the "leadership" of Timmy Geithner, decided to allow Citigro= up to stop filing certain risk reports that had previously been required from = that firm because of its participation with fallen corporation Enron's financial shenanigans.

·      &= nbsp; In 1999, Rubin= was the moving force resulting in the November 1999 Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act= which effectively repealed the long-standing prohibitions of the mixing of banking with securities or insurance businesses. That act permanently repealed the Glass Steagall Act, which since 1933 had put controls on banks.=

·      &= nbsp; In 1999, Rubin joined Citigroup as a director and senior counselor. At that time, he strongly recommended to Congress that it permanently strip the regulatory Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) of its ability to regulate derivatives. His recommendation was passed by Congress, allowing = ;the financial boys to run wild in their questionable and illegal derivativ= es dealings and was a key reason those organizations faced financial disaster = in 2008.

·      &= nbsp; In 2001, while= he was at Citigroup, Rubin violated all rules of ethics by contacting a Treasu= ry official, asking if the department would convince private bond-rating agenc= ies not to downgrade Enron, a Citigroup debtor. Rubin left Citigroup in January, 2009. He received over $17 million in compensation from Citigroup and $33 million in stock options.=

·      &= nbsp; In 2001, as a = member of the Harvard board of directors, Rubin helped Larry Summers become presid= ent at Harvard. Summers was fired (but allowed to resign) from Harvard due in part to his insensitivity and controversial statements he ma= de about women and blacks. During the controversy, Rubin repeatedly defe= nded Summers. When Summers was fired in 2006, Rubin got him a job as chief economist for the World Bank.

·      &= nbsp; In January 200= 9, Rubin was named by Marketwatch as one of 10 most unethical people in busine= ss.=

·      &= nbsp; Ruben is a pro= ponent of financial deregulation. Obama has said he is in favor of re-regulat= ion, the exact opposite. If this is true, why has Obama chosen an entire t= eam of economic appointees who are cronies and protegees of Robert Rubin w= ith his Goldman Sachs and Citigroup ties?

<= /p>
=             Our readers have seen the constant ties in the = Obama administration of the same old recycled names (Geithner, Summers, Rubin, Blankfein, and their minions) and the allegations that financial firm Goldm= an Sachs is the permanent economic administration and force in the U.S. government.

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=

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<= span style=3D'font-size:28.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:blue'>Ohio Offenses

        = ;    In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says if you thought the propos= al that would give all 99 members of the House and 33 members of the Senate the power to perform marriages was a great idea, and Dale “For Sale” Mallory’s proposal to make it illegal for yoofs to have firearms until they’re 21 would curb gun violence, then how about Ron Maag’s proposed feel-good “sexting” bill making the creation, exchange, and possession of nude materials between minors a first-degree misdemeanor? That really ought to work.

<= o:p>

   = ;         Commenting on Devious DemocRAT David A. Pepper’s current ethics scandal that Republicans for Higher taxes are complaining about, CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says, “Wait a minute, isn't this sort of unethical and/or illegal behavior = by a politician the kind of thing that Pepper's Chief of a Two-Person Staff, Bri= dget Doherty, used to berate when she was a radio reporter?”

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   = ;         Meanwhile, local Dumbed-Down DemocRATS are getting ready for that upcoming Hamilt= on County= DemocRAT Forum at the 20th Century Theater in Oakl= ey where would-be candidates will have to get up on stage and do their songs-and-dances.

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   = ;         Stimulus Packager Tino Delgato says you had to laugh at the editorial in the fish wr= ap on re-utilizing the Cincinnati= downtown underground subway tunnel. But then again that makes as much sense= as putting $150 million into an electric trolley track system. The Subway only runs under Central parkway. The Big Dig underground system in Boston cost billions. Maybe we could ge= t one Trolley Bus and run it back and forth under Central Parkway with Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mayor Mallory as the conductor. Go Figure!!!

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   = ;         But “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman says, “What the heck are the Hamilton County Banks Transit Center, the Banks Street Grid, and the Riverfront Intermodal Center Phase 2, and why are they included in Obama’s Porkulus Boondoggle?= 221; Oh well, at least the Trolley Folly isn’t included (unless they’= ;ve re-named it one of the above).

     &nb= sp;      There’s still a lot of buzz about The Kevinator’s story in CityBleat claiming Chris Finney (who some people say was Separated at Birth from Ricky Gervais) and NAALCP Chairman SMLP Smitermouth were “in bed together. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...)” Cou= ld this be “The love that dare not speak its name?” Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “They’re just close friends.”

=

&nb= sp;           And as always: all Racial Healing I= tems in the Whistleblower (like the one above) have been approved by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).=

&nb= sp;

   = ;         Meanwhile, our schoolyard snitch says he heard that the Forrest Gump School District is pushing employees to work on the school levy campaign and this is being done during the school work day. Isn't that a violation of some law? School principals are reviewing who is signing up and who is not. Employees are "volunteering" out of fear and repercussions as to what could hap= pen to them if they don't volunteer. Sounds like the Gumpers are really despera= te to pass this wasteful and excessive huge tax increase. Let's vote this down= and send a message! TEA, TEA, TEA!!!!!

<= o:p>

   = ;         And speaking of those upcoming Tea Party Rallies on Tax Day (April 15), are the left-wingers planning to counter-protest so they can play the race card? Do= you think those over-night- celebrity Tea Party organizers have figured that out yet? Stay tuned.

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   = ;         Our Pistol Packing Sensuous Granny Jeanie Peter who blasted the bejesus out of = the Gumpers in last Wednesday’s letter to the editor, says, “Isn’t it funny how the Forest Hills Urinal missed that little story?”

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   = ;         And did you see where Anderson Township is advertising for double-dippers to a= pply for that Township Administrator’s job to replace Administrator Henry = D. Olive, who retired in December after 19 years with <= st1:PlaceName w:st=3D"on">Anderson Township and continues to be paid his $104,675 salary from the township while also collecting his retirement checks? It’s amazing that you don’t s= ee a big line in front of the Anderson Government Center, like that time you might’ve seen on TV when hundreds of people lined up for a single janitor’s job.

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        = ;    So how bad is the local economy during the Obama recession? According to Craig’s List, somebody in Kenwood is trying to get $50 for his artifi= cial leg, just in time for this year’s Easter Leg Hunt. =

<= o:p>

   = ;         And if you think that’s in poor taste, our good friend Bobby Leach is awf= ully proud of his new “Bragging Rights” T-Shirt, the one he wore to = work on Casual Friday, when he was showing his co-workers all those “sext” pictures we asked him to help us judge in The Whistleblo= wer’s Electronically Transmitted Photos of Nude Teenage Girls Contest, before it’s against the law.

=

   = ;         Bobby also e-mailed us a link to that story about the teen who painted a giant penis on his parent’s roof, but Our Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor (who was permitted to run uno= pposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street and received a medal from attorneys makin= g a killing handing all his Board of Revision cases) has told all his drive-by appraisers to be on the lookout for the same thing here in Hamilton County because he says, “If anything would increase the value of a person’s property, that would.”

   = ;         =

   = ;         Finally, we just received this trivia item: At five minutes and six seconds after 4 = AM on the 8th of July this year, the time and date will be 04:05:06 07/08/09. = This will never happen again. Somebody obviously has too much time on his hands.=

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<= o:p>

Bluegrass= Blahs

        = ;   Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says you’d think Kenton County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson is a wee bit envious of all the attention our good friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ award-winning e-newsletter (This Week In Kenton Circuit Court) gets, because Scarry Garry= is now putting out one of his own. It’s called “The Summons,” and believe us, it’s really cruel and unusual punishment if you ever had to read it.

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   = ;         The latest edition had blockbuster stories like: “Government Academy 2009,” “Home Incarceration Saves Us Money,” “Fighti= ng Truancy is Keeping Kids in School,” and “Independence Detent= ion Center Has Bright Future.”

<= o:p>

        = ;    But we really liked Scarry’s Joke of the Month: Sammy has stolen the rabb= i's gold watch. He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepl= ess night, to go to the rabbi.

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   = ;         “Rabbi, I stole a gold watch.”

   = ;         “But Sammy! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately!”= ;

<= o:p>

   = ;         “What shall I do?”

   = ;         “Give it back to the owner.”

<= o:p>

   = ;         “Do you want it?”

   = ;         “No, I said return it to its owner.”

<= o:p>

   = ;         “But he doesn't want it.”

   = ;         “In that case, you can keep it.”

<= o:p>

   = ;         “Telling ‘Jew Jokes’ isn’t racist, is it?” Garry says. In his next edition, Garry’s got a great “Gay Darkie Joke” to te= ll you.

<= o:p>

   = ;         Maybe that’s why the Che$ley-Deters (because $tan Che$ley ALWAYS gets top billing over Deters) High Commission on the Crisis of Inconsequence called = for a quick hearing and immediately indicted “Scarry Garry” as inconsequential for his anti-Semitic joke, that was not cleared in advance = by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).

<= o:p>

   = ;         And don’t forget, sometimes we just remove other people without listing their names, because those people are just too inconsequential to mention.

= ;           In other Bluegrass news, Ken C= amBoo says Thursday night, as he watched the Kentucky House and Senate members congratulate each other on KET TV on the accomplishments in the legislative session just completed, Ken wondered why there was no mention of the unfund= ed retirement system obligation that now stands at $30 billion (yes, that is billion) and growing by $1 billion a year.

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   = ;         Ken says he wonders what will happen if the cities and counties discontinue pay= ing into the system as the state has done over the past 30 years. Ken also wond= ers how people can be bragging when they were unable to complete their job in t= he allotted time and may have to call a special session in the coming months to finish what they did not get completed, at over-taxed payers’ expense= , of course.

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=

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&nb= sp;

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