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̵=
2; Speci=
al
“Tomb It May Concern” E-dition —
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Sat=
urday,
October 31, 2009
![3D"Kane](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image005.jpg")
=
Hall=
oween
2009
By Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher
=
Y=
ou
don't need the Fearless Forces of Political Correctness to tell you not to
dress up like an Arab terrorist carrying a big bomb today to go
trick-or-treating in an American airport.
For years, multi-culturalists have forbidden you to w=
ear
such “insensitive costumes.” You can't dress up like a hobo, de=
vil,
Boy Scout, pedophile priest, homosexual Eskimo, Cleveland Indian, pregnant
teenager, hunchback, hairy-legged lesbian, fat person, Michael Jackson, Ted=
dy
Kennedy in a wet suit, Vince Foster with a hole in his head, George Clooney,
Barbra Streisand, or a witch who just happens to look like Hillary, althoug=
h you
could dress up like Mean Jean Schmidt, who just happens to look like a witc=
h.
![3D"schmidt_pile.1.jpg"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image006.jpg")
<=
/b>
But this Halloween, as memories of September 11 have =
all
but faded, Liberal Elites say it’s perfectly all right for you to make
fun of Republicans and Conservatives, even if it might sound unpatriotic. I=
t's
OK to make jokes about President Bush's "strategery," but you
can’t mention Obama’s “historic” decline in the pol=
ls
since becoming president. And like Late Night TV Comics, you would never wa=
nt
to mention Sarah Palin’s best-selling book, but you can still ridicule
her single-mother teenage daughter, her Down Syndrome infant, her accent, h=
er
clothing, and her snow-machine-riding husband. Maybe that explains David
Letterman’s Halloween joke: Bobbing for apples, or as Dick Cheney cal=
ls
it, “appleboarding.”
But the one thing you still can't do this year,
especially if you own a bar in Mason, Ohio, would be to put a helpful sign =
in your
window saying "For Service, Speak English," if neither you nor yo=
ur
employees could speak Spanish. If you did, the Harpies from HOME (Housing
Owners Made to Pay Extortion) would still claim you were hurting the feelin=
gs
of some poor illegal immigrant (whom they can’t actually identify bec=
ause
of racially discriminatory deportation laws) and refer their charges to
Gayvenor Strickland’s Political Correctness Commission, and Skaggie
Maggie's Idiotorial Board at the Morning Fishwrap would surely call you a
"bigot."
Liberals show their tolerance by telling lies,
name-calling, and trying to burn all Rush Limbaugh's dittoheads at the stak=
e.
And with only three more days till Indecision 2009 on November 3, their wil=
ling
accomplices in the press are still busy trying fool all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed,
media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed
short-attention-span voters
one more time.
![3D"halloween](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image007.jpg")
Halloween used to be the day when
folks dressed up in funny costumes and took to the streets begging for good=
ies.
But walking the streets and turning tricks this year, is that wretched refu=
se
for whom we can only hope November 3 will be their day of reckoning. Politi=
cal
panhandlers try to disguise themselves as people who care and roam neighbor=
hoods
or clutter your TV with commercials begging for votes so they can get their
hands on your goodies. And when they do, We the Over-Taxed Payers will fall
prey to all sorts of their dirty tricks.
When you see automobile ads on TV, they always
explain the financing. When banks advertise loans, they always have to tell=
you
how much the interest charge will be. It's called Truth in Lending. But when
candidates run political ads, they don't even have to tell the truth. They =
can
say damn near anything they want and call it "protected free speech.&q=
uot;
Do you remember two years ago when ads for Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County
Commissioners Odd Todd Opportune’s and David A. Pepper’s $=
900
million Feel-Good-Social Programs Tax Scam that would’ve also include=
d the
GOP Sheriff Simon E. Leis Memorial Hoosegow didn't even have to tell you what each new bed will
really cost, because if they did, nobody in his right mind would ever vote =
for
it?
And how scary were those TV commercials for the new
jail— shouldn’t they at least have been banned during the
"family viewing period?" Threatening to let Freddy Kruger and Mic=
hael
Myers out of jail scares the hell out of the children.
![3D"flyer_luken_thumb.jpg"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image008.jpg")
“TaxKiller Tom” Brin=
kman
says this year some of the bad ideas our Local Liberal Lunatics are trying =
to
sell you include Cincinnati Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Bill=
ion
Dollar Trolley Folly Boondoggle, Ohio Whores as part of Quisling Charlie
Luken’s Sleazy Casino Scam, free videos for life at public libraries,
rewarding the Museum Center’s bad management for not fixing its roof,=
and
of course, renewing your stupidity by supporting the Failed Cincinnati Publ=
ic
Schools one more time. They claim it won’t cost you more money, but w=
hat
they never tell you is not voting for it could cost you less money.
The media's spinfluence: It used to be only The New
York Times and TV networks employed bogus polls to promote their agenda.
Now every local media outlet is doing it too. As for newspapers, as if thei=
r daily
unfair-and-biased reporting weren't enough, their pre-election political
endorsements instruct their ill-informed readers which candidate to choose.
Rarely do they endorse a person just because of his race (including this ye=
ar),
because the only color those media weasels care about is green. And on tax
increases, people who control newspaper editorial boards don't even have to
live in areas those huge tax increases would affect, so it's not costing th=
em
anything to tell you to piss away more of your hard-earned money down anoth=
er
liberal rat hole.
![3D"obama](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image009.jpg")
While Halloween costumes have be=
come
more frightening, nothing is quite as scary as the increasingly bitter rhet=
oric
of all those trying to stay in office. Enjoy it. It's the sound and fury of
liberalism crumbling.
They'll sell you crap as long as you're willing to buy
it.
Maybe that’s why when you ask which is worse ab=
out
this year’s elections—voters’ ignorance or apathy, and pe=
ople
tell you they don’t know and they don’t care.
Take the elections in Cincinnati, please. This
year’s contest for Mayor and City Clown-cil have been the most boring=
in
the History of the World—Parts One, Two, and Three. How many people a=
re
running anyway— 58? If you think our current Nine Fine Clowns on &quo=
t;Clown-cil"
are bad, just think— at least you’ll see one new face next year.
What effect will all those Tea Partiers have next Tuesday? Results would be=
a
lot different if the City's over-taxed payers who live in the suburbs got to
vote.
![3DMallory-Bootsy.JPG](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image011.jpg")
And how about that race for Mayo=
r? The
Hamilton County RINO Party’s campaign for its Great White Hope to Def=
eat
our Girly Man Mayor in Only Three More Days is scheduled to begin next
Wednesday, the day after they paint the town “Blue” on Election
Night. Remember last time when the choice for mayor was between two Demo-La=
bor
Party Girly Men? We didn’t think you did. We deserve what we get here=
in
Cincinnati. Imagine turning the clock back 50 years and telling people,
“One of these days, one of these two guys will be the mayor.”
In the suburbs, it’s even worse. You have a zil=
lion
races for clown-cils, trustees, and school boards, and if the Fishwrap Farm
Teams’ media bias is as bad everywhere else as it is in Anderson, God
Bless America. Not only that, over-taxed payers in Terrace Park will be hav=
ing
a “special election” later this year because one of their Villa=
ge
Idiots =
forgot
to place the tax levy on the November ballot.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says everythingR=
17;s
really quiet on the South Shore this year. They don’t even have a jok=
e race
for Governor on Tuesday. Still, Channel 19 has opened up an Election Night
Headquarters with teams of reporters already camped out at the Boards of
Elections in Kenton, Campbell, and Boondoggle Counties, in case there’=
;s
any late-breaking news.
![3Doffensive-halloween-costume-6.JPG](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image013.jpg")
So everybody's getting ready for
Halloween in Northern Kentucky. Blondie Whalen fright thongs are selling we=
ll
at Victoria’s Secret, there's a lewd carved pumpkin display at the Pi=
ece
Bell in Newport, and Horny in Hebron is auditioning witches to ride his bro=
omstick,
if you know what we mean. Everybody’s wondering who’ll be weari=
ng
the most offensive costume at Miss Vicki’s Annual Halloween Party
tonight, but our good friend Bobby Leach says every day is Halloween in
Northern Kentucky, where guys just sit around and “pump kin.”
On the other hand, today's Halloween festivities probably won't be totally enjoyed by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard= of Cleves, since it's also his 47th wedding anniversary. "I was tricked o= nce, and it's been no treat ever since," the crusty curmudgeon explained. <= o:p>
![3D"obama](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image014.jpg")
The quality of political candida=
tes
reflects our culture. Despite all the talk about "change," the pu=
blic
really doesn't want anything done. Except to somebody else. Politicians are
still selling crap because you're still buying crap.
Remember: when Liberal politicians promise you someth=
ing,
they must first take it from you or somebody else. If these creepy creatures
take it from you, you can bet your political pumpkin you'll get back a lot =
less
than you gave.
If you get to choose between politics and
Halloween, take Halloween. It may be just a day to buy a mask and count up =
your
candy at the end of the night, but you'll still get more for your money. Ch=
oose
politics, and those greedy bastards wearing masks of compassion will steal =
all
your candy and wind up with everything else you own.
Halloween Safety Tips: Police say don't dress up
like a black guy with a gun, especially in a white neighborhood.
Now here are a few children's Halloween safety =
tips
you won't see on TV: Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a
joke. Don't search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. Don't
solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. And never ever take anything from =
the
dead.
![3Dorson-welles-war-of-the-worlds-.jpg](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image015.jpg")
Hurley the Historian says on
yesterday’s date in 1938 Charles Foster Kane lookalike Orson Welles
caused a nationwide panic with his broadcast of "War of the
Worlds"--a realistic radio dramatization of a Martian invasion of Eart=
h,
and every day our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane tries=
to
cause a similar tri-state panic about tax increases during the Obama Era.
That’s
why our Quote for Today Committee chose Thomas Jefferson’s “A
government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take
away everything you have.”
Trick
or Treat, Happy Halloween.
REMEMBER: If you can't improve on the news, you
shouldn't even be reporting it.
HALLO=
WEEN HOT
LINE
e-mail your gho=
ul
grams today.
![3D"OBama_Barackula"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image017.jpg")
The
Greatest Halloween Hoax Ever
=
Some
ghost-busting items in today's Blower were sent in by our equally ghost-bus=
ting
subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
&n=
bsp;
![3D"cid:image019.gif@01CA53EF.6965F860"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image018.gif")
Note: We guarantee
Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on
their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
![3D"cid:image020.jpg@01CA53EF.6965F860"](3D"cid:image021.jpg@01CA32E8.BDAF8A80")
![3D"email](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Saturday_October_31_2009_files/image020.jpg")
<=
![endif]>
The Extra Special Whistleblower Insiders E-dition=
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=
=
And to check out some of the latest videos
submi=
tted,
see what those politically incorrect folks at “Not
the Fishwrap” are doing. =
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