— Special “Illegal Immigrant Update” E-dition —=

Thursday, April= 2, 2009

We Were Only Joking=

= ; Pardon the lateness of today’s e-dition, but before we could even begin processing the 742 rants, slants, = and news scoops from our snitches on Wednesday, we had to answer every one of t= hose 7,412 complaints from outraged subscribers who were disconsolate about not receiving Wednesday’s Whistleblower. That’s because if they didn’t get their daily dose of The Blower on Wednesday, then t= hey surely missed this paragraph explaining the entire situation:

<= o:p>

Worst of all was our little joke, when we posted today’s e-dit= ion on the internet and didn’t e-mail it to anyone, just to make people t= hink the Che$ley-Deters High Commission on the Crisis of Inconsequence had cut them off The Blower’s E-Mail List, ev= en though all copies of The Whistleblower are always available 24/7 at= The Cincinnatus Standard.

<= o:p>

   = ;         But the best e-mail we got was from Channel 19:

=

Hey, Charlie:

<= /p>
Why do you always publish your letter of apolo= gy on April First? Give us the "scoop"! Is that because = it's the first day of Spring? Please don't keep us in the dark.=

&= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;      Channel 19 News

PS: When do we turn our clocks forward?

PPS: We didn’t receive our Blower today.



   = ;         Let’s face it, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane explained to a= ll those Political Insiders at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, April Fools Comes once a year, and those 7,412 subscribers who fell= for The Blower’s little joke were some of the biggest fools of all.<= /o:p>

<= o:p>

   = ;         Now we hope everybody really believes us when we start talking about Tax Freedom Day on April 13.

<= o:p>

=

Obama Overseas

        = ;    Our frequently-flogged political pundit William F. Wisniewski just can’t = help but be amused by the lap dog media frenzy that is now giving credit to President Barack Hussein Obama for ending the Cold War. In a brazen twistin= g of events that would make even the old editors of Pravda blush, folks like And= rea Mitchell no longer seem to remember that the Soviet = Union collapsed twenty years ago! Is the Wizzer happy that we are going to contin= ue to discuss arms reductions with the Russians after the current nuclear arms treaty expires in December? Of course he is. Any sane person would be. But,= the false sense being created by the libs is that BHO has somehow bravely acted= to avert atomic war would be silly if it wasn’t so frightening. Billy F. sugge= sts that if you want to get a handle on what’s taking place right now, du= st off your old high school copy of George Orwell’s 1984 and READ IT! Hope and Change, huh?

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   = ;         Quick—while he’s out of the country, let’s change it back to “America.”

<= o:p>

= ;           Our conservative culture-watcher Patrick J. Backgammon tells us that he truly appreciates the 'Blower's stalwart efforts to promote racial healing.= But he adds by the same token he is sick and tired of all the guilt-ridden, closet-bigots who salve their senseless shame by accusing others of harbori= ng some chimerical racial hatred. Backgammon also has some advice for the thin-skinned opportunists who cashed in by selling Obama Christmas ornaments and “Yes We Can” can openers. He advises these frustrated race-baiters to quit whining about other people making money on German Obama chicken fingers and Russian Obama duel-flavored ice cream being sold with a= ds depicting BHO as an ice cream Oreo. As Patrick J. puts it, "Hush yo, mouff!" And he is one bad MF.

= ;           Our media observer Harry the Cable Guy wants to clue you in on how you can tell when someone is effectively getting under the skin of the liberal loons in = the mainstream media. The dead give-a-way is how viciously the BHO-sycophantic lap-dancers attack that person. While subjecting himself to the horrors of MSNBC, Harry watched the raised-pinky-set, latte-sipping, American-hating, upper-west side Manhattanites that populate the cast of the feebly-rated Morning Blow. Sitting around the table were the plagiarizing Mike Barnucklehead, the hag Brit editor of the e-zine appropriately titled The Beast, Tina Brown, the obviously bored Mika Brzezinski and Blow Scarborough and . . . the talentless Willie Geist. = During his daily stultifying segment titled News You Can’t Use, Geist showed video of the cable ratings juggernaut Glenn Beck from rival FOX News getting emotional over the direction President BHO is taking our country. Morning Blow’s cast got a good laugh at Beck’s expense, even calling his sanity into question. Harry advises Blow and the Gang to worry less about w= hat a highly successful TV commentator like Glenn Beck is doing and worry more about having your own program climb out of the ratings toilet before even audience-challenged MSNBC has no choice but to flush.

= ;           While suffering along with Harry, Mary the Cable Gal chuckled at how obviously bo= red Mika was on Morning Blow. During the seemingly interminable twenty minutes = Mary watched, Ms. Brzezinski was incessantly sending and receiving text messages= on her quite audibly vibrating Blackberry. Mary guesses that she was either re= ceiving her talking points from BHO Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel or contacting Roger Ailes in an attempt to land a gig at FOX. Good luck with that one, Mika.

      = ;      Larry the Varmint from Virginia says Glenn Beck said on his show Monday what I have been saying for some ti= me now. He just used different words. He said that the only way we can get rid= of the blood sucking vampires in Washington, pictured here, is to drive a stake in their heart. I also enjoyed his inter= view with Connecticut AG Richard Blumenthal. Glenn asked him what law he was upholding by going after the bonuses AIG paid their employees. After the us= ual song and dance he stated that it is the right thing to do. I think he went = to Cornell Ag with that other idiot, the one who works at PMSNBC, Keith I went= to Cornell, Olberman. Apparently if it is the right thing to do it is a law. A= nd that's a law we can't live with.

= ;           John “No Left Turns in Goshen” Joseph says the Wall St= reet Journal reported yesterday that the US 2009-2010 budget is set to have inheritance taxes maintained at 45%. Therefore, there is no free year in 2010. Under Bush's change in law, the inheritance tax would have been eliminated in 2010 and thereafter. Who says Obama is not raising taxes? This move is against job creation since the generational tax will influence small businesses, which create the most job= s.

   = ;         Remember when Obama said 95% of all Americans would get a tax cut. Well, is this it? Obama supporters in the Press are trying to put a good spin on this for him when they shout "Here comes your stimulus bonus." It might actual= ly amount to an extra $10 a week in your paycheck. But adults who are eligible= for Social Security, Railroad Retirement, veteran'<= /st1:PersonName>s compensation or pension benefits won’t receive the credit.= Meanwhile, your IRA is still work about half wh= at it was before Obama was elected.

         =    Speaking of unappreciated Veterans, how do you = think they liked it last week when Bill Maher ririculed them for their service to our country?<= /span>

<= o:p>

   = ;         Meanwhile, over at ScrappleFace, Scott Ott says as news broke that yet another of his cabinet appointees faces questions about tax returns, President Barack Obama announced today that the tax code is "hopelessly complicated and must = be scrapped and replaced with a simple, flat tax." Read the rest here.

=

Obama’s Eternal Economic Crisis

      = ;      Obama has named a current member of AIG Insuran= ce's board of directors to his new task force on= tax reform. Martin Feldstein has been on the AIG board since 1988. = He is a teacher and crony of Larry Summers (aka Larry Samuelson) and the rest = of the Goldman Sachs bunch of thugs. In 2005, then President Bush passed= up naming Feldstein as chairman of the Federal Reserve because of his ties to troubled AIG. Nothing like Obama bringing in more of the same chummy = scheming finance people who are responsible for this economic crisis. <= /span>

<= /p>
=             The Bloomberg Network has come out with a repor= t the U.S. government and the Federal Reserve have spent, lent or committed $12.8 trillion, much = more than the unreliable government figures say. This amount approaches the value of everything produced in the country (the GDP) in 2008! <= /span>=

·      &= nbsp; This money wor= ks out to $42,105 for every man, woman and child in the U.S.   And it's 14 times the amount of U.S. currency in circulation.= =

·      &= nbsp; The gross dome= stic product (GDP) was $14.2 trillion in 2008.=

      = ;      Goldman Sachs arrogant CEO Lloyd C. Blankfein, = who is not lacking in gall, dared to make the comment last weekend, "If it is enough, that will be great. If it is not enough, they will have to do more." Old Blankfein is the leader of the Goldman Sachs cabal th= at has ruined and is really running the economy of this country.

=             On ABC's This Week talk show on Sunday, a seemingly medicated Treasury Secretary Timothy Franz Geithner gave a prophetic quote, saying, "The banks need= to start taking risks again." Gee, Timmy, isn't that what got us into this economic mess in the first place?=

=             Speaking of Goldman Sachs thugs, John L. Thornton, 54, former Goldman Sachs partner, recently purchased a Palm Beach Florida winter home, 32,000 square feet with 300 feet of ocean frontage, for $81.5 million. It's the highest price ever paid for a Palm Bea= ch home. And this is just for his winter home= =

=             Last Friday afternoon, federal regulators seized Georgia-based Omni National Bank and its six branches in other states. Omni is the 21st bank to fail in 2009.

=

        And by the way, with the government now running General Motors, should we now be referring to Obama as Mr. Goodwrench? May = we now refer to our President as “Mr. Goodwrench?”=

=

<= o:p>

More DemocRAT Tax Cheats

        = ;    Well isn’t that special— Disgraced DemocRAT John Gilligan’s daughter Kathleen Sebelius joined the cadre of Obama’s tax cheats when she and her husband finally paid the IRS a total of $7,040 in back taxes and $878 in interest. This is only the latest tax issue to hit an Obama administration nominee. His first Health and Human Services nominee withdrew because of major tax problems.

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   = ;         Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Hugo Black’s “The United States has a system of taxation by confession.”

<= o:p>

=            In Columbus, B= uckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Gayvenor Strickland is set to ban dishwashi= ng detergents like they did in Sp= okane, Washington. Doesn't this dweb know that P&G supports our st= ate? Maybe the next time we have a grease spill on I-75 P&G will tell Hamilton County and the state to go to Hell= and not send Dawn detergent to clean up the greasy spill.=

=

   = ;         CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street= wonders if you know why D= oofus DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioner= David A. Pepper wants you to sign up on Twitter. Obviously, it’s because he’s a twit.

<= o:p>

   = ;         The Resident Home for the Mentally Retarded has put its 3437 Stettinius Ave. Hy= de Park group home up for sale yesterday and already has an offer but the prop= erty needs "extensive renovation." 20 years ago, neighbors sued, as it= was against the law to house more than four unrelated adults in a residential neighborhood. Cincinnati<= /st1:PlaceName> City Clown-cil chan= ged the ordinance, but only for the retarded, before the trial. 20 families retaliated and moved out of the city.

<= o:p>

   = ;         Steve Chabothead sent out a fund-raising e-mail earlier this week. Then we got one from Loser Lobbyist Rob “Still Not Endorsed by The Whistleblower̶= 1; Portman saying he needed the money by March 31, so it would look good on his FEC filing report. Then That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt sent out an e-mail begging for $1,000 donations, too. That renovation to her house on Wards Corner Road in Loveland with the construction sign in the front yard must be costing a lot. <= o:p>

<= o:p>

   = ;         Green Township is right next to Colerain= Township. Bot= h are West of Cincinnati<= /st1:place>, both filled up after World War II with hard-working, battle-tested GIs and their young families. Both were made up of predominantly German, Cath= olic stock, with strong parishes and parochial schools. While Green Township continues to flourish, Co= lerain Township has been floundering and heading downhill over the past decade or so. Colerain suffe= rs from the dictatorial rule of Trustee Fiedeldey who stops every development project except when someone who buys steel from him wants something done.&n= bsp; The landfill isn’t the only thing in Colerain that stinks.=

<= o:p>

&nbs= p;           In a related story, Colerain Cal wo= nders how long ago The Blower wrote about that Nepotism in Colerain after the Fishwrap finally reported that Trustee Bernie Fiedeldey had voted four times to hire his grandchildren for township work - an action forbidden by Ohio ethics law. The subject of Cal’s e-ma= il was “Blower Scoops Fishwrap.” But although we appreciate the compliment, it would be more worthy of notice if The Blower had been scoope= d by The Fishwrap instead.

&nb= sp;           Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1513,= Ponce de Leon discovered Florida, and in spite of that Señor Bob Castellin= i, says the Reds will be playing their Spring Training games in Arizona. There’s no way local fa= ns will be able to make that drive in 17 hours, not even if you’re riding with lead-footed Bob McEwen.

<= o:p>

   = ;         A Reader named Ralph, who enjoyed our forgiveness letter to John Hinkley a few days ago, says his he and his wife went to their first political protest ra= lly at the Cincinnati<= /st1:City> Tea Party and enjoyed it immensely. He copied Monday’s “T= ax Day Tea Party Warning,” noting the risks for other tea parties coming= up, and then he forwarded it to about 300 people on his e-mail list. We suspect Ralph was not the only one.

<= o:p>

   = ;         Meanwhile, “TaxKiller Tom” Br= inkman says everyone should bring a spray can of white paint to the Tax Day Tea Pa= rty on April 15. If anyone shows up who’s opposed the rally, spray them white. That way, they’ll look like they’re part of the in-crowd= .

<= o:p>

   = ;         And as always: all Racial Healing Items in the Whistleblower (especially the one above) have been approved in advance by t= he American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).

<= o:p>

Bluegrass Boneheads

   = ;         Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says living true to his Blower nickname, only Eric "Call Me Crazy" Deters is crazy enough, or perhaps we should= say enough of a blood sucking, ambulance chasing, frivolous, lawsuit-filing, me= dia whore to hold a press conference to exploit the cancer stricken son of his convicted rapist client, 2007 Whistleblower MILF of the Year Award Winner J= eni Lee Dinkel! If getting the school to "do the right thing" so the family could attend Jeni Lee’s son’s graduation from Covington Catholic High Schoo= l was really what the family was after, wouldn't the father-son Dinkel duo go have a chat with the school principal?! = Oh, but that wouldn't get Deter's stubby little bald mug all over the camera!=

   = ;         The Fishwrap did a nice obit piece about WNOP jazz broadcasting legend Ty Williams in th= is morning’s edition. The only problem was that it was all about h= is 30 years with WEBN, and not a mention of the 7 years at Radio Free Newport jazz stati= on WNOP which created the legend. Ty was on the original 1960 staff. So much for quality news-gathering and dissemination via the gannet presses. To us jazz musicians, this is a big deal.

   = ;         Ken CamBoo says he thought his kids would never see the day that they would be dealing with Social Security, but it looks like he could be wrong, since th= ere won’t be any money for them to get a monthly check, but they may have= to call them to check the warranty on their GM car.

<= o:p>

   = ;         In a related matter, Ken says he’s happy to see Obama taking us down the road to Socialism. That should mean we can surrender and have our debt forgiven, then we can begin to move towards capitalism like they’re d= oing in China. Speaking of Socialists, Cathy Flaig, the soon to be Judge Defective in Boondoggle County, has promised to ask Ju= dge No Moore in 2010 at each and every meeting between now and May, if he and Secretary of State Trey Grayson have received any of that stimulus money Ob= ama promised them, in payment for their support of the Clintons back in the 90s= .

<= o:p>

   = ;         Ken CamBoo says he read with interest in the Fishwrap that DHL may be coming ba= ck to CVG after the State of Kentucky promised them millions of dollars to ret= urn and finally use that building that they were working on for them when they = left to go to Wilmington. Ken says he wonders if this means that all those horses coming in here in 2012 will now have to be quarantined at the vacated build= ings in Wilmington.

<= o:p>

   = ;         A little old lady from Hebron says she called the Fishwrap to cancel her subscription and she was asked if she was calling from a cell phone, and when she said yes, they put her on h= old and then played a recording that kept repeating it would be better to keep = your subscription than to pay for all those minutes. In a related story, if ther= e is a “for rent” sign on the building where the NoKy Fishwrap is currently located, would that be a bad sign?

<= o:p>

   = ;         Word on the street in Burlington is that a lot of Chamber of Horror Members were trying to get their money b= ack from Judge No Moore in 2010 before the first campaign financial statements = were due.

<= o:p>

   = ;         Finally, our good friend Bobby Leach stopped “sexting” us nude pictures = of teenage girls long enough to ask: if former Memphis basketball coach John Calipari is the new coach at <= st1:State w:st=3D"on">Kentucky, does that mean Bob Huggins w= ould be next in line? The new Kentucky coach = has become the most hated man in M= emphis since James Earl Ray. After the mega deal Calipari signed with UK, the players won't be happy. At= $35 million for eight years, that leave less for UK to pay them.

=

More Proud Sponsors =

and Avid Fans=

Today's edition is brought to you by a generous don= ation during our April fund-raising drive from the No= rthern Kentucky MILFs Association.

A MILF IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE HOT LINE

e-mail your personal preferences today.

LINK OF THE DAY=

Newsbust= ers

(Exposing Liberal Media Bias)<= /span>

The Extra Special Whistleblower Insiders E-dition is by invitation only.

= Some vile-and-disgus= ting items in today's Blower were s= ent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

To be considered for an e-mail subscription to The Whistleblower Newswire, persons of consequence anywhere= in the world may apply by e-mailing requests to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com.=

(But persons who’ve been f= ound to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and shakers and a= re declared “Persons of Inconsequence” will be removed without notice.)

The Extra Special Whistleblower Insiders E-dition

is by invitation onl= y.

  &nbs= p;       The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of t= he mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call = The Fishwrap.

And to check out som= e of the latest videos

submitted, see what = those politically incorrect folks at = “Not the Fishwrap” are doing. <= /p>

=

Note: people who wo= rk in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something= to snitch).

Remember: you can s= till be offended by the Blower on the Internet at

The Cincinnatus Standard