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<=
/o:p>
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=
=
— Offic=
ial
“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant” E-dition —=
![3DQ-091201.GIF](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image004.j=)
![3D"cid:421425518@26102009-1D25"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image005.j=)
=
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
![3D"062370818@31082009-371C"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image006.g=)
![3D"cid:image006.gif@01CA54BC.28405510"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image007.g=)
Many people say that story I told
about my automobile accident was an “unplayable lie.” —Tiger Woods
=
Things like that happen when you=
marry
an uppity white woman. —OJ Simpson<=
o:p>
Just because I hired a celebrity
lawyer doesn’t mean I was having an affair with Tiger Woods. —Tiger Woods’ Mistress
It sounded like his wife was pre=
tty
teed off. —Late Night Comedians
![3D"Obama-recessions](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image009.j=)
=
You can’t believe how much crap =
those
obese Americans were buying on “Black Friday” using credit cards they’ll ne=
ver
ever be able to pay off. —Your Frie=
nds at
Wal-Mart
And yesterday was “Cyber Monday.”
That’s the Monday immediately following “Black Friday” because it’s the bus=
iest
day of the year for retail electronic commerce in the United States. —On-Line Over-spenders, Using their Ne=
west
Credit Cards
Hey everybody, we’re already deb=
ating
Harry Reid’s bogus “Patient
Protection and Affordable Care Act’’ (that hides a $1.8 Trillion price =
tag
by not accounting for actual costs, features major reductions in Medicare ben=
efits
to seniors, =
and
major tax increases on every American to pay for it all with an increased
Medicare payroll tax.) —Disi=
ngenuous
DemocRATS in the U.S. Senate
<=
span
style=3D'mso-tab-count:1'> Breaking news, everybody— today =
Obama
will be announcing his long-awaited revised policy on Afghanistan during a
photo-op at West Point. —Obama Supporters in the Press
We can
hardly wait till Thursday when Obama hosts his “historic” and
“unprecedented” Jobs Summit at the White House so we can find out where all
those jobs are he’s claiming his Stimulus Boondoggle created. —A Record Number of Un-employed Americ=
ans
<=
span
style=3D'mso-tab-count:1'> So that’s why The Blower invited me to Cincinnati on Wednesday to take part i=
n a
town hall meeting at the Netherland Plaza Hotel to help us promote real solutions for job creation and economic
growth. —Newt Gingrich
<=
/span>How much would The Blower agree to pay us for an
interview? —White House Reality TV =
Show
Wannabe Party Crashers
Did you see where =
we’re
following The Blower’s advice a=
nd
putting up our own candidates in key local races, like our candidate in Ohi=
o’s
21st Congressional District? —Anti-taxers at the Cincinnati 9/12 P=
roject
On this date in 1824,
because no candidate had received a majority of electoral votes, the
presidential election was turned over to the House of Representatives, as
dictated by the 12th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. OK, all you
Presidential Scholars out there, tell us who the winner was. Who says it
doesn’t matter who your Representative in Congress is? —Hurley the Historian
According to my new
campaign video, thanks to me every uninsured child in Ohio now has access to
health insurance. —Gayvenor Ted
Strickland
Please don’t remind =
people
about my promise on a stack of Bibles to vote against any future prope=
rty
tax rollbacks, especially next year during my full-time campaign for Ohio
Auditor. —Devious
DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioner David A. Pepper
Please don’t remind =
people
how I announced that to balance the budget, 315 =
City
of Cincinnati employees were scheduled to get the axe, just in time for
Thanksgiving. —Cincinnati City Mang=
ler
Milton Dohoney
Speaking of balancing the budget=
, how
much do you think it’ll cost UC to keep Brian Kelley as the undefeated
Bearcat’s football coach? —Whistleb=
lower
Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy =
Furball
Here’s how we’re going to make s=
ure
somebody doesn’t get an eye put out at Bootsy’s —we’ll use paper cups from =
now
on. —Jeff Ruby
It took him a long time to figur=
e that
out. —$tan Che$ley and Other Greedy=
Trial
Lawyers
<=
span
style=3D'mso-tab-count:1'> Although our campaign is not
associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout=
the
year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All<=
span
style=3D'font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>
Whatever happened to that special
election “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman’s pathetic replacement in the state
legislature was supposed to arrange after our we forgot to file the necess=
ary
paperwork to place our renewal levy on the November ballot? —Village Idi=
ots
in Terrace Park
![3D"Alex-Blue](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image011.j=)
All
weekend, people were asking me where they could see the video of where I’d =
been
named The Whistleblower’s “Biggest Turkey of the Year” for the second time =
in a
row. —Hamilton =
County
RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
Where=
’s my
video? Wasn’t I named The Whistleblower’s “Biggest Turkey of the Yea=
r in
Northern Kentucky?” —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters <=
/b>
<=
span
style=3D'mso-tab-count:1'> At my Annual Graydon Head &
Ritchey Holiday Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club tomorrow night (whe=
re
we’ve been making Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky since 2003), I pro=
mise
not to run out of shrimp or copies of my book. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robins=
on
We ma=
y have
been able to persuade the governor of Kentucky to change his mind about cal=
ling
the
traditional Christmas tree on the capitol grounds in Frankfort a “holiday
tree,” but “The BatBoy” is still calling his soirée a “Holiday Reception.” =
—The
American Family Association
<=
span
style=3D'mso-tab-count:1'> At least this year Rick didn’t f=
orget
to use the “Bcc” feature on his e-mail invitations so everybody could figure
out who else got invited to Graydon Head & Ritchey’s Holiday Par=
ty
at the Fort Mitchell Country Club tomorrow night. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief
Ken CamBoo
<=
/span>Would it be OK for=
some
US Senate Wannabe trailing in the polls to put in an appearance? —Trey Grayson <=
/span>
Now we’re wondering if anybody b=
esides
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane at Rick’s party would d=
are
to use Winston Churchill’s “I may be drunk, but you Madame, are ugly. In the
morning I shall be sober.” —Your Quote
for Today Committee
How t=
ight
will the security be for Rick’s Party? —Reality TV Show Wannabe Party Crashers, Hoping to Be Interv=
iewed
on Flashlight Theatre
<=
!--[if gte vml 1]>
<=
![endif]>Would Celebrity Wannabes on TV be
invited? —Channel 19’s Trish the Dish
&nb=
sp;
<=
![endif]>Now since Sandra Ali is not comi=
ng
back on TV5 News, will they make me wear a dress? —Jack Atherton
—
Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer— =
;
![3D"tiger](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image013.j=)
=
; Sometimes
The Blower makes fun of celebrities to show that expecting special treatment
from law enforcement officials will not be tolerated in our society. This
should be clear to anybody who isn’t a cheating golfer and his club-swinging
wife.
&nbs=
p;
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or =
dead
without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Tiger Woods.
TIGER=
WOODS
JOKES HOT LINE
e-mail your chip
shots today.<=
o:p>
![3D"Uncle](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image015.p=)
Link =
of the
Day
Uncle Jay Explains the News
<=
!--[if gte vml 1]>
![3D"cid:image041.gif@01CA5580.B197F060"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image016.g=)
Note: We guarantee
Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their
computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.<=
o:p>
=
Some
vile-and-disgusting items in today's Blower were sent in by our equally
vile-and-disgusting subscribers.=
![3D"cid:image044.jpg@01CA564B.D39E8E00"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image017.j=)
![3D"062370818@31082009-383B"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image018.j=)
To be considered for=
an e-mail
subscription to The Whistleblower Newswire published eight-days-a-week, per=
sons
of consequence anywhere in the world may apply by e-mailing requests to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com.=
(But persons w=
ho’ve
been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and
shakers and are declared “Persons of Inconsequence” will be removed without
notice.)
The E=
xtra
Special Whistleblower Insiders
E-dit=
ion is
by invitation only.
![3D"cid:image046.jpg@01CA564B.D39E8E00"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image019.j=)
=
J=
ust
Say No to “Social Networking”
![3D"cid:image048.jpg@01CA564B.D39E8E00"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image020.j=)
=
=
![3D"062370818@31082009-3850"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image021.g=)
&=
nbsp;
The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of t=
he
mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call =
The
Fishwrap.
<=
o:p>
<=
o:p>
![3D"062370818@31082009-385E"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image022.j=)
And to
check out some of the latest videos submitted, see what those politically
incorrect folks at =
“Not the
Fishwrap” are doing.
<=
o:p>
![3D"062370818@31082009-386C"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image023.j=)
Note:
people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower=
on
their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting t=
ime
reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have somethi=
ng
to snitch).
&nbs=
p;
=
![3D"062370818@31082009-387A"](3D"Whistleblower_Newswire_Tuesday_December_1_2009.mht._files/image024.j=)
Reme=
mber:
you can still be offended by the Blower on the Internet at
&nbs=
p;The Cincinnatus Standard
<=
/p>
<=
/p>
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