— <= /strong>Official “Yom Kippur” E-dition —

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

        = ;    We’re sorry our tacky-and-tasteless Dead Celebrities Halloween Display did not include Good DemocRAT Teddy Kennedy. —Kings Island

&nb= sp;          One of our cast members (Jenny Slate) used the “F-word” during our first show of the season. How tasteless was that? —= ;Saturday Night Live =

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   = ;         Not to be outdone, The Blower is now pleased to announce our own Halloween Harangue, featuring tasteful post-mortem displays of live politicians whose careers are dead (or might as well be). —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane

&nb= sp;          Did everybody see local Tea Partier Amy Burke commenting first on sp= ecial studio audience edition of Glenn Beck: “A Mother’s Challen= ge: A 9/12 Report,” on Fox News that aired during the weekend? —Cincinnati 9/12 Project

                        <= /i>Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links a= nd pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good st= uff today.

= ;

= ;           We wish The Blower would just st= op gloating, especially after being right one more time by proving we were lyi= ng about Obama’s School Propaganda Speech, when everybody saw those New Jersey second gr= aders being taught to sing the praises of Obama with no apologies from their Obama-loving principal. — Obama Supporters in the Press=

&n= bsp;           Little chilluns who wouldn’t sing were just racist= s. —School Principals for Obama

  =           In Monday’s “Edjumacation E-dition,” thanks for not mentioni= ng that only 40% of us are sending our children to private schools. —= Cincinnati Teecher= s Union

&nb= sp;          Just as The Blower predicted, we’l= l be waiting to handle all our really tough budget cuts and layoffs until after = the November Election. —C= incinnati Girly Mayor Mark Mallory and His Favored Five on Clown-cil

&nb= sp;          Did everybody see my full page ad on page C-5 of Sunday Fishwrap blasting the Furloughing Five on Clown-cil (Harris, Thomas, Cole, Crowley, and Qualls) for choosing to layoff 138 police office= rs unless every officer accepted a pay cut? —Jeff Ruby=

&nb= sp;          It would’ve been nice if Ruby’s ad = had also pointed out that those Disgraceful DemocRATS were only doing what the mayor told them. —Hamilton County RINO Party’s Great White H= ope to Defeat Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocrAT Mayor Mark Mallory in only 35 = More Days

   = ;         Can you guys believe I just endorsed an= other tax increase? — 2007 Tax Hiker of the Year Bill Seitz

            I don't know why people think I should campaign hard for City Clown-cil when they know how hard I’m already working to get myself elected County Commissioner next year. —= Ghizzy Lizzy

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  =           How did you like Sunday’s big bogus survey showing everybody would be vot= ing for Quisling Charlie Luken’s Sleazy Casinos Scam? = —Feckless Fishwrappers

   = ;         You won’t believe how much money = those gamblers are spending. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen

   = ;         Will TV cameras really be allowed to co= ver my encore performance at Thursday’s Ohio Elections Commission Hearing, when I try to prove I really didn̵= 7;t take $30,000 in blood money to deny the genocide of Christian Armenians by those murdering Muslim Turks? —That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend Multi-Millionaire RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt <= /span>

  &n= bsp;         I may not respond to e-mails from people outside my district, unless= a large donation is included. —Ohio’s Dumpy DemocRAT First District Congressman Steve Drunkhaus

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   = ;         Did you see where one of John Boehner&#= 8217;s uninsured constituents died from Swine Flu? = —Left-Wing Bloggers Whacking Off in their Moms’ Basements

=

   = ;         Speaking of one-handed bloggers, did yo= u see my blog where I blasted Bungals Coach Marvin Lewis for comforting Fresno State and the Steelers? —Darryl Parks, WLW Hate Radio Program Director

<= o:p>

   = ;         That state audit blasting Hamilton County for not having its financial books in order was just totally political. = —Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County Commission David A. Pepper (runn= ing full time for Ohio Auditor)

  =           Did somebody really file a complaint with the Ohio Elections Commission (Case Number 2009D-039, scheduled for October 29) abou= t my yard signs in Anderson? —Michael Paolucci

  &n= bsp;         Don’t forget our big annual candidates’ night, next Wednesday, October 6. —Anderson Township Republican= Club

   = ;         How stupid were those silly women to ha= ve tailgate parties in the rain just to celebrate our grand opening in Kenwood= ? —Nordstrom

   = ;         Maybe that’s why we chose Adrienne Gusoff’s “Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.̶= 1; —Your Quote for Today Committee

<= /i>

   = ;         Gene Autry was born on this date in 190= 7. Do you think viewers of the Encore Westerns Channel will figure out why all th= ose Gene Autry movies will be shown today? —Hurley the Historian =

&nb= sp;          Did you know that part-time census worker found hanging in a rural Kentucky cemetery was naked, gagged, and had his hands and feet bound with duct tape= ? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

  &n= bsp;         That recent court ruling will finally help pave the way for how Sexu= ally Oriented Businesses can be regulated in Kenton County. —County Attorney Scarry Garry Edmondson

  &n= bsp;         Since Friday was my last day at the Fishwrap, did anybody remember to cover Rand Paul’s big health care town hall meeting last Saturday? —Patsy Crowley

            <= /span>Did those Monkey Business Boys (Jay Faucet and = Patsy Crowley) really call me a “Cougar?” —Katie Stine

  &n= bsp;         We hope our e-mail announcing the date as October 4 was helpful. —COAST

   = ;         Not to worry—I was at the event to promote myself. —Mar= cus Carey

   = ;         How big a wuss will people think I am i= f I show up at Friday’s Peace Rally in Covington? —Goof Doofus

   = ;         Did everybody read about how D-RATS on = the Senate Finance Committee rejected my amendment (that that would’ve required that Obama-care Bill to be posted on the Internet (for all America= ns to read) for 72 hours prior to the Committee’s voting on it? —<= i>BeanBall Jim” Bunning

   = ;         Do you think I will ever be elected pre= sident of the American Bar Association when people find out how long I’ve be= en a Whistleblower Subscriber? —William T. Robinson III =

   = ;         You won’t believe how many people= are already trying to wangle an invitation to my annual Halloween Party. —Miss Vicki

   = ;         How about if we do a live program all n= ight on Halloween? —Flashlight Theatre

   = ;         And how’s this for a holiday surp= rise —a 10% surcharge on all air fares! —Delta

       &nbs= p;    Did you know two of Columbus’ ships (the Nina and Pinta) discovered Newport, Kentucky? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News=

       &= nbsp;    Now you know why I finally had enough of those morons. —Jack Atherton

YOM KIPPUR HOT= LINE

e-mail your awesome atonements today.<= /span>

= Some penitent items = in today's Blower were sent in by our equally penitent subscribers.

         Sometimes = The Blower makes fun of religion to show that making religious jokes is not alw= ays acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who does not make Jewish jokes in his political newsletter.

   &= nbsp;      This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living = or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Scarry Gar= ry Edmondson.

=

Link of the Day

Uncle Jay Explains the News

<= /b>

To be considered for an e-mail subscription to The Whistleblower Newswire published eight-days-a-week, per= sons of consequence anywhere in the world may apply by e-mailing requests to whistleblower@cinci.rr.com.=

(But persons who’ve been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and shakers= and are declared “Persons of Inconsequence” will be removed without notice.)

The Extra Special Whistleblower Insiders E-dition

is by invitation onl= y.

  &nbs= p;       The Whistleblower has always been 100% commercial free, unlike members of t= he mendacious news media. So if you want to buy an ad on the front page, call = The Fishwrap.

And to check out som= e of the latest videos

submitted, see what = those politically incorrect folks at = “Not the Fishwrap” are doing. <= /p>

=

Note: people who wo= rk in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something= to snitch).

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